One.
I poured myself a whiskey and coke, but there’s a backstory to it…
That’s six “booze free” months down the tubes.. but listen..
I hurt myself this weekend.
Lower back pain so bad, that I left work after an hour
(Shoutout to my employer for being cool about it)
I approached with honesty..
“Please don’t fire me, I hurt really bad and I need to lie down”
The response was a laugh, and it filled my heart..
“Of course not, head on and here’s some remedies that help with back pain”
I took Tylenol until my stomach cramped.
I could take heavy Kratom but I do not wish for the withdrawals,,
I could see a doctor, but he wouldn’t give me anything real..
SO I had a talk with myself…
“Self…if I give you one double whiskey, are you going to ask for another tomorrow?”
( I swear, I will not)
Alright then..
We are not drinking for the emotional, we are drinking for the physical.
We are drinking because we are in pain.
The Bible says “give strong drink to the man with a heavy heart..”
Yo….right here…
I seen the bartender, I said “look maaannn,,come down here”
He got down there, he said “what chew want?”
I said I wanted my back to stop hurting..
ANd voila.
(How do you feel?)
Way fuckin better!
ANd while we’re on the subject, fuck you!
Fuck your judgement.
Fuck your station.
Fuck your level..
(Built a house on oatmeal)
Built a house on nothing!!
On fucking nothing!!
And here we are.. I say…” here we are”
Round 2—-
Burden.
You have made it my burden to forgive you.
My purpose, my higher calling , dare I say ” my God”..
It is asked that I forgive you.
It is the wish of my true father.
(Let it go)
Rinse and repeat, repeat that cycle 4 times a week. “Let it go”
Love the ones that hurt you.
Love the ones that cast judgment.
We’re in madness?
Madness is my front porch, you are the visitor, I am the resident.
You are the tourist, this is home to me…
(Must be here for a reason..)
Must be,, I think so..
You make it my burden to forgive you, and forgiveness ain’t my fuckin job.
But I will.
I will because it’s what “He” wants, and because I take pride in my work.
I do.
So like raindrops gliding off a windshield.
I forgive you.
I forgive who you are and what you did.
I forgive how you behave and why.
There’s a surrender in it.
Arms to the sky.
(And then it’s gone”)
*snap*
Just like that.
In an instant.
The transgressions do not exist,
Because I pulled the ripcord.
“To forgive”
(Great song)
For sure….
I love talking on booze, and by the transitive property, I love typing on booze…
My back hurt..
It did… i wanted medicine.
(And that medicine goes “glug glug glug”)
But I feel better.
Didn’t stick a needle in my arm….
Just drank some decent whiskey..
Travelers..
Fuck me… it’s better.. the flow is right under the surface and all the choices are yours…
Sad but true,…
(Forgiveness)
It is my job to forgive, even If I didn’t ask for it..
My duty.
Burden..
Yep…
dawn 