dawn

Burn me to ash and put me into my guitar after I’m dead.

How you are in life is how you’ll be remembered in death. If you’re enough of a dick, you can rip off the funeral system. Make sure they don’t get any money.

Man, I didn’t like that girl of Kevin’s.

And you have to understand, the night before she died, he and I had a postmortem on their relationship. Went over all the facts.

When I met her she seemed disingenuous , seemed like a person with all the stories. But when it came to the music, she didn’t have anything. Pretty much tone deaf. A pretender.

And we’re all pretenders in one way or another, fake it till ya make it kinda stuff,,but something about her.

I don’t know.

Didn’t trust it.

Like, the entire personality.

Didn’t want to be around it or anyone like it.

Life is short, and you’re the only person that chooses what personalities you want to engage with.

Anyway,

I’m sure she had her positive qualities just like everyone else,but so did Israel Keyes.

And she fit Kevin’s emotional sickness like a glove.

Now she’s gone , and he has something to eat at his head.

And he’ll only remember the good, which I suppose is proper, after someone dies, try to remember the good parts.

I don’t know.

Personally I think it’s better to view the hard reality.

Learn from it, and don’t let yourself do that shit Anymore. If an event cuts you within inches of your life, seems like you should replay the call, not show the highlight reel.

Anyways,

I wouldn’t say “she had it coming”, or any shit like that,,I don’t know,, it seems like now I have to listen to how saintly she was.

And I’m kinda offended.

How you behave in life is how you’ll be remembered in death.

Simple logic.

Perhaps you should behave a little cooler.

Behave like you nibbled a Xanax and everything is alright.And you realize how retarded your emotional makeup is. And all your dysfunction.

Better to be aware of it.

I wish she didn’t die.

I also had nothing to do with it either way.

And a bad fit is a bad fit.

Shit will fuck you up.

Fuck up your motivations and perspective .

Blah….

Don’t do that.

Don’t get into nasty relationship stuff.

In that scenario, it’s better to not play at all, better than playing in a shitty band.Angry band. Not even a band that does it for the love of it.

It’s all fucked.

I feel guilty for being so cold about it, maybe I’m dead inside.