A day off is nice, have a coffee and think productive, channel some fuckin anxiety, hit the pull up bar, fold some clothes,let your mind bounce around. I got my bicep back in about a week, couldn’t do more than two on the first day, then you start getting angry, angry at yourself for being such a bitch. You notice that thought when it comes in and you go to combat, I’m thinking you have to, you have to immediately confront your negative head shit.
Is that what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy means?
I should probably Google that shit, who has the focus?
Want to feel good? Want to feel a little pride?
How hard would it be, in this modern age, how hard would it be to gain eyeballs through only text?
Couldn’t be easy, everything is flashing lights and sparkles and clips out there,,,
Yeah, you’d have to be quite the clown, you’d have to say some pretty wild shit, and it couldn’t be faked.
Sooooo,be yourself.
That’s the only formula.
I’d get that on my tombstone , but I’m thinking cremation is probably my path, get spread out somewhere cool, maybe buried in a Mason jar, somewhere in the woods.
It’s really nice when the energy is up, I don’t feel like all the dogshit moods I type. When the energy is up, none of that is real or ever was real, no desire to cut throats or scare strangers, just be-boppin through the garden, taking a casual stroll on a beautiful fall day. Dig the scenery , notice as much shit as you can notice…..
One of the first times I did LSD, Jason and I went on this epic trek to the radio tower, like 15 miles walk, in the middle of the night…trippin balls, he had a half a sheet of acid in his pocket to continue the journey,,,
We passed all these beautiful fields, soaked in the full moon, this pale mix of white from the sky and green from the land, fields of cows,,they were all staring at us and the moon made this strange reflection in their eyes,,,all staring at you,,,completely unnerving .
We passed this little, I dunno, Like a little telephone station. A little hut that handled the lines for that area, and I was so sad,,
It was like we were looking at all these beautiful sites, then we stumble on to mankind, out here making the landscapes ugly,,,weird feeling, totally illogical, was on the brink of tears, over some shit that doesn’t matter.
Acid is funny.
Yes sir, that one is funny.
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Fucking off is More detrimental than any vice I carry or have ever carried. Even if I have a supernatural tolerance for shame,, God damn, God damnit all, fucking off is embarrassing.
Walking is pretty cool,one of my favorite things, but walking is basically fucking off in motion,so you don’t feel like you’re fucking off. You’re looking at shit, taking it all in, does it count? I think it counts.
Walking is not fucking off,it’s walking, people have been doing it forever.
dawn 