dawn

Big word.

And you know you’re bitter if..

Sound advice hurts.

Stings.

Bamboo chutes under your fingernails…and all that jazz.

And you can be tough and strong and “do what ya gotta do”… But.. nothing…

Nothing changes and you stick to the safe zones.

If someone gives you just a little appreciation,just a little morsel of validation, you think

“I’ll stay here”

Safe.

Because this is why, and the homeless life is fuh kin bleak.

So I’ll work, and I’ll eat these Huge piles of shit, and I’ll stay high.

The reward, is when the day is done, and you have those precious few moments, to escape.

When you have your cat in bed,and you have Mario on the little screen, and you have your “peace”.

A little chunk of time to fuck off, before you rinse and repeat..

Play if you can, shit man, if you can get in the spaceship and let it blast off?

Special feelings..

(Stalling)

Ambition was discouraged?

Beyond?

Excuses.. just how you were taught and what you were around..

There is nothing, nothing safe except the safe path.

Devil you know, devil you don’t,

You can stay fucked up and it makes it manageable, barely..

And maybe the irony of life is,,, learning your skill set

Far too late.

Maybe..

And bitterness makes sense..

It does.

But if you can get in that spaceship, and if your guitar is in tune and your fingers are flow…

You can sit down,,

And you can tell the best shit material ever created.

You can pour out, so it’s not so bad.

So the whole thing doesn’t wear you down so much.

And it is HARD to live without satisfaction.

Or purpose.

You’re like someone dying of thirst, dehydrated and crawling through the days..

And it’ll fuckin scrape you out man,,

And the moments won’t save you.

And you’ll be hiding in a mosquito net during a meteor shower..

And it’s sad.

And you can still squeeze the tip of your penis in the morning, and you can still blast a log with fresh morning urine..

But it’s just not the same..

Not the same…

Alas…the circles have taken my feet…

I got no fuckin feet man!

(It’s almost worse having outlet..)

In a way.

Because you get to feel all the cool stuff and still go nowhere lol..

(Perhaps you question your own motives…)

The heart.

Play,speak,type,,, for and from the heart, and fuck you and the horse you rode in on..

(And the world is nuts lol)

Holy shit!!

Way more than lil ole me….

But it’s funny,,the whole thing is,,

Does’t have to be bitter. Sad.

(Long as you stay high)

Touché…

Hey man….

hey..

I came from nothing.

I was given the wrong lessons.

I worked my way up from nothing…

(But you’re not satisfied)

No…I’m not,, but I’m proud of how far ,,

Proud of that…

And they set out to convince me that I had no power at all…

(But that wasn’t true..)

It wasn’t.

Just like you, got all the power in the world…

Hmm… i rambled about nothing

(What’s new?)

You should have a point,, if you sit down to click clack….you should have a fuckin point..

(What’s up with Israel?)

I think Russia, Russia’s what’s in the news and we’re supposed to have massive amounts of fear..

(And China)

And China…

Funny thing is?

I think both Russians and Asians have awesome culture. They seem like neat humans,, fuckin love the Russian language, love the flow of it,, love the efficiency of Asians and how skilled they are…

People are just hateful motherfuckers.

And they want to divide you.

And just like I believe I’m a loser, they’ve tricked you into the fear of strangers, the fear of people different than you…

And i think that’s gay as a fuck.

But not gay in a homosexual way, I mean gay in a lame ass way that somebody should blast with a shotgun..

Blast the face right off it,,

(Like that one poor guy, walking around with that face..)

I hate people so much sometimes.

Is it bitter,, if you’re right?

Are you an asshole if your shit talk is true??

(Your talk can be true, and you can still be an asshole,, you can be two things at the same time)

Exhausting.

I loaded cable today, 2hr 4pair,bda, 14/2, 18/4 fplp, cat6a,,,

Hustled….

(Did you take your medicine?)

I can’t remember…shit…dammit…

Shit fuck crop duster!

Assfuck a xylophone…

I hate….hate,,,,,,,,zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(Moron)

I’M AWAKE!

I’m up… I’m here…. i care …

(Foolish)