dawn

mehhh I slipped. Fuck it. While we’re here, let’s talk about it.

“what’s good about alcohol?”

Take a seat health nuts. I know what you’re saying, and so much of it is right, now let me talk. Let me argue the other side and let’s try to do it with love. With some childish degree of understanding. I only speak for myself, and there’s tons of regret and acknowledgment of dumb-ass behavior.

SO

with that said….

” you say what you mean”

A real human, male or female, a real person does that with ease. Because they’re not full of shit. No effort. Shit comes out of the face hole, and a person is able to stand by it, without flinching.

you’re wrong?

You own it. You say you’re wrong and you work to do better.

“say what you mean”

evolve, but for fucks sake, speak from some place that rings true.

Alcohol does that , hate to say it, hate to admit it. There is ZERO resistance between my head and my hands. Like I’m writing Stairway to Heaven over here. I feel that shit. Flow. Fake flow? maybe……still flow.

for sure.

The next question….

“would you give your life?”

Take make something honest?

To dig a hole, to carve the inside out?( monument-royksopp)

I hate to give in. I hate to admit it.

If I had the choice, I would….

If I could sacrifice to make something real, with zero reward…. mmmmmm I fuckin would.

Alcohol doesn’t make you good at shit.

Marijuana makes you THINK you’re good at shit.

And I am a god,, but only at Gauntlet. But still a god. A useless one.

I .

I………

I don’t know.

And uncertainty makes me very sad.

I love how I feel on booze, I love how I feel on narcotics,

I love making shit, even weak shit,,,

I feel the best.

ANd it’s so sad, because it feels like one or the other.

Be straight, do chin ups and hold responsibility.Balance a bank account.

Or be wild. Throw it to the wind and leave a fucking mark. Fight to the death. GO deep, be mean, be ruthless and rampant. Loose and vapid. Unleashed and unteached. Douhebag….be a douchebag.

Why only 2?

why must the choices have such contrast?

is what it is.

I can’t go a month without boozing. Even while taking in THC. I can’t.

Shit scares me a bit.

I should be able to go a month. A punk-bitch can do a month. I might actually be a punk bitch. bummer