When I have nothing is when I feel like God is disgusted with me
To clarify –
Nothing means “nothing going out”
empty .
Nothing to bleed and no song to sing.
Has nothing to do with paper stacks or social happiness..
Comparison or inventory..
Just nothing..
—
To clarify –
When I say “God”
I don’t mean the one on TV, begging for money.
Your theoretical understanding of a concept that is possibly theoretical.
So then-
Soul and spirit.
Inner identity and unique consciousness,,
Whomever YOU are.
The version of a creator that works for you, the one you made up. Interpretation of the confusing ass story that’s been around forever.
Maybe even a splash of science fiction, why not?
Math is God, ultimately.
God is math.
A math addict.
You might pause and look around..
“Got nothing going out.”
Sleep and digestion and looking around..
Do I think a woman could be capable of national leadership?
Of course I do .
I simply do not trust in the concept of leadership, not in this scenario. Not with this construct..
A good boss makes their workers feel like soldiers, like we are on the same team and the task is the bad guy .
Villain.
The focus.
Resistance.
The task is the thing to kill and all that matters is the ones that fight. The standing together, the positive sense of group and community..
But you?
Politics?
Soap opera 💫.
I don’t hate because a person is this,or that. I hate because it wants you to. It wants you to be hung up on the nonsense..
But I digress..
The flip side of feeling up.
Bleh ..
Empty, scraped out and lost. Hiding. Distracting yourself, refraining..
I don’t think my version of God likes that very much.
And the real sin of the sad people is obvious.
Surrender, defeat, bow down to the villain…
You have nothing and you are nothing, the world is right to discard you..
(the same way you discard it)
So it’s a challenge.
Feeling like a bad mother fucker, indulging in intoxicants, feeling empty afterwards.
And small.
And stupid.
And worthless.
Comes in a cycle, this then that, both moods feel so real, feels like it’s identity..
But it’s not.
It’s illusion.
So you power through, and try not to shit on yourself so hard.
dawn 