I’m sorry I whine so much,easy trap to fall into..
No intoxication today.
No drink, no spliff, no fungus, no Kratom,
(Picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines?)
lulz,
First half of the day was rough, the last week or so I’ve been, I dunno, not feeling my best upstairs. So if someone says
“Two days, in two days of legitimate change, you can hold solid”
Bold fucking statement.
Professional closet buzz-fiends find ways to maintain and keep the need under wraps, might even convince themselves that a buzz is not needed.
And it’s not.
For about a week.
Somewhere around day 9 I tend to buckle, but we’ve been through it.
Soooo, no sugar,fried foods and apply physical exertion. Nicotine intake can be shifted to a non lung method, it works at work.
That’s the recipe ,right?
I’m not enough of a drunk or junkie to need meetings, and that’s not delusion, I just got icked out when I went,, no shade being thrown, just not for me.
And fix my head,right?
And my money, and my current situation .
Sooo, basically just be someone else, that’s pretty much what’s required,,,and THAT,ladies and gentlemen,,that’s how you quit being a loser.
And don’t date, not until you love yourself,,sooooo,, die alone, basically yes, basically that’s the right way to go.
Lucky that I enjoy my alone time.
And pick up your squaller ,
(Neat word)
Yes, squaller, squaw-ler, the surrounding space is a direction reflection of how you feel inside, Guilty there, I started fixing it,
No slouching in the cesspool of your surroundings, no sighing or crying, no sympathy shots being sucked back with a chaser of backstory and circumstance.
Gangster Rap.
You heard me, Gangster rap because you gotta be hard out here in these streets. This world is a pressure cooker and it wants to break you down…ALL of them, wants you under their little thumb, wants you beneath the shoe,
It’s because of Satan, right?
Satan did all of this to you.
Why can’t there be a third party?
God and his kid, versus God’s former best friend,,,who he threw out of the house when he heard him playing better guitar than Himself.
Capitalized .
Himself.
In the old testament, I remember He was referred to as “I AM”.
Moses,,,,
The God of I AM.
Well like,,,I am too, I am and you are and they were and they will be, made in His image.
And the peculiar nature of the group,,, there’s a transvestite working at my local grocery store,, make-up, dyed hair, painted fingernails,,
You don’t understand where I live, you don’t know how country this town is,,but I digress.
This young dude might be,, I dunno,,17,
But there he is, just as sure as God sent another day, there this dude is going to work,looking like that.
At first it was odd, hit my eyeball as odd because I wasn’t ready for that,,, but the more I thought about it,,,,,,respect, “ya got balls dude”
Then I thought about it more…
I had painted fingernails at 18, I had blue hair briefly , and a tongue ring, and an eyebrow ring, and three holes in my ear,, I got a kick out of weirding out the squares,,,
Then something clicked,,,,
(The real weirdos look like everyone else..)
I realized I was a poser, I was angry at myself on LSD for being so reactionary , for longing for any sort of attention whatsoever ….
Different times,,,the same type of thing just at different times.
I’m glad you’re doing you , young man, or lady or whatever , if I were a betting man….he’ll grow out of it. He’s trying to be different and so was I, it’s also in style so he feels some sort of social cred.
I had nothing to do with the world turning out the way it did, and it’s always evolving and in motion,I’m just watching it with the rest of you..
I’m not going to drink tomorrow either.
I’m going to keep cleaning .
My sister asked me to join her in a video game but it’s one of those “grind” type games I’m not really into,, but I’ll do it to hang out with her, we don’t talk nearly enough, she’s a good one.
And she’s impressed with how famous I am.
53rd best player,,in the world 🌎🌎
That’ll impress the ladies.
dawn 