There’s different ways to like people.
I do this unconscious and slightly insidious thing when I like someone.
I find myself trying to be like them.
Wanna play like David Gilmour, wanna write like Smashing Pumpkins,wanna speak like someone that’s worth listening to..
It’s not Identity.
It’s high level mimicry..
Likely developed from childhood..
High level Bullshittery.
So there’s this guy, and I’ve heard his name for a while, I’ve watched clips, I’ve taken in small segments,,
“What is all the fuss about?”
I was into Charles Manson for a bit,
Not because I envy, but because it was an interesting story.
LSD, The book of Revelation, The Beatles White album…
Hate him all you want, those are three interesting things to tie together..
Plus we share a birthday..
I digress…
This guy….
I think I might like this guy as much as I hate Israel Keyes.
And he’s a pig, a drunk, a gentleman in some strange way….
But goddamn… he was a writer.
When it came to the bleed,, that flowery flow… my man,,, my floating soul kin, my my my..
My nothing.
I see you dude.
I fucking see you..
And if I would have found you early??
I would have tried to be you.
ANd that would make me fake as fuck.
SO maybe I was meant to find it now.
To find you, now..
Now…
Now now now now…
When you collect people, you mimic them.
SO I’ve observed people that I admire, and I’ve tried to act like them.
Tried to talk like they talk.
Pretend like that Lens belongs to me…
Looking glass…
Then I internalize it, and I carry them.
Forever.
“You’re a part of me, you made me what I am”
Love it or hate,
I’m one of yours.
And there’s a level of respect that I don’t hand out freely.
I seeeeeeee you.
I know ya.
I’ve been you…
And I love ya.
This guys audiobook is about 6 hours.
6 Hours of speech, broken stories, dashes of magic thrown in there…
I listened to it in one day.
I barely thought about my job, because I’m so talented,, I gave 80% to this man in my ear…
(More….)
I want more.
I’m hooked.
Not hooked to the stories , but hooked to how you do it.
It’s like I heard Tupac for the first time.
Like I played my first guitar chord.
I used to watch my stepdad play at church, for years and years, and I’d get this shit eating grin….
Like I was excited.
Or proud.
Like it was some super power that only I was close to.
“Check out,,check out what this guy can do”
It’s a rare feeling…
You don’t get that often…..
I’ve rambled….
Mr.Bukowski……
I’ve already been a drunk,
I’ve done that, I’m not trying to idolize that….
But sir.
SIR.
I love how you do it.
I listened to Factotum in one single day.
Now I’m gonna start,,hang on,,,
“South of no North”
He was bigger, more muscle on him.
You’re a nut.
But I love how you do.
I love what you exposed.
I loved how you showed what you see, regardless of whether or not you were piss drunk…..
I’m going to put real effort into not mimicking you…
out of respect.
Because I respect you.
ANd you have no idea how much that means to me.
Because I hate these motherfuckers.
(Except a few)
A few…..
You can’t go to school for some things…
Can’t teach it..
But I was crazier
dawn 