dawn

I think I want to start this over.

Not because I invited 2 IRL friends here,,but because

(because, because , because)

I’ve been drinking every other day,,,for about a year now. Always in the evening, never missing work for it,,but yo.

“slippery slope”

And it’s not just the whiskey, it’s drinking the whiskey alone every night. I’ve spent a lot of time with myself and in some ways , it’s my favorite. But still….

I have inadvertently taken the wrong fork in the road.

Sober is hard, that slow fuckin’ grind of the minutes and hours, the inability to catch the flow state and let it all hang out,,, I dunno,,, confused.

So I took some Kratom, it’s an herb (chill the fuck out), let’s see how that goes. Alcoholic blood is no joke and you gotta be able to catch yourself,,,even if it took a year.

I’m good.