I….
Am withdrawing from Kratom.
Maybe 3 weeks ,steady usage of potent extract, $22 a bottle, between 2-4 bottles a day.
And?
Yahtzee.
Cranky, aggressive, bone crushing low.
But when it clicked, it clicked .
“I’m on drugs”
Herbal drugs, legal drugs, still drugs.
No booze,, so that’s good, no tear in your beer shit,buttttt.
I hate life so much.
Not only do I prefer being intoxicated, I’m better being intoxicated.
Flow state is right the fuck there and I can sculpt great images with feces.
Neat,right?
Neato-compleeto
False illusion or standard reality?
Drugs are the best,
And being without is the worst.
And I have withdrawn from strong opiates before, I know the game.
Constipation, straight up “I’ll kill you” moods, hmmm,, some peace in it, some solace.Just knowing and having a real life reminder that the body and the mind are eternally connected.
And if a soul exists, it’s somewhere in there.
I like being reminded of the body,because it brings Time into the equation.
If you’re feeling things, hang tight, this too will pass.
You’re not gonna die
(Today)
You are not doomed to the unease of your role. Just part of it, just a passing thing. You will circle the block and next trip around you’ll be right as rain.
I can say, a word to the wise,,,watch yourself.
Watch how you fuck around with them chemicals.
Even if you’re a toughy, even if you enjoy seeing yourself as a strong human.
Tsk tsk.
Sunset comes.
It will for you, always.
Edgar Allen Poe ain’t got shit on a junkie.
(He was probably a junkie)
Yeah, probably.
Sadness and the relation to being high, the dichotomy , up and down and up and down.
The higher you go, the lower you can expect.
I don’t necessarily regret it, I was getting very tired of whiskey, and it’s good to have a pacifier, I dunno.
Just feel internally like shit.
Not the body, but the mind, them foul as fuck feels.
But that’s alright, none today and tomorrow will be fine,
But yeah, super potent Kratom extract,
Makes you pissy as fuck after a month.
And no guitar!
Not even much desire to play, which is most of the motivation, or to type ,or to do anything creative.
Which means…
It’s bitch shit.
A buzz that does not encourage mindplay is not a buzz worth having. Because your body will lie to to you.
dawn 