dawn

A more constructive line of thought, instead of picturing the world with less people, I go to bloodlines and genes.

That’s science and written in stone.

The shit that you are is attached to the mother’s bloodline and the father’s.

I really think there’s something there, total gut feeling.

Skills and attributes , strengths and weaknesses , and,,,,

Blame.

I feel like I have to blame something.

Blame God until you realize the church is a construct of man, designed to get 10% of your pay. Operated by snakes , people that make you wish it was all real, just so you could think about them standing before God one day.

SO religion,, let’s table that, call it stack A.

Stack B.

Genetics. A gut feeling of genetic memory and it’s dabbling in woo-woo because it sounds a lot like past lives. I know my uncles on my mom’s side, I don’t know anything about father’s side. I know he has a strong mind, raging temper, but a solid mind. I don’t know anything about his family.

If you’re a troubleshooter, and your mind is constantly in motion, trying to fix,,,

Then follow the daydream.

Being able to identify ALL the bloodlines in the world. Being able to single out and genetically edit the poor fuckers with cursed genes.

You could fix all that.

You could prune them from the tree and perhaps we’d lose those nasty aspects of being a human.

-rage- violence-spiraling minds-paranoia- chemical dependency-self sabotage- liars- cult leaders- shady politicians- xenophobics- dividers- chronic depression —

Maybe in my screwed up imagination, everything could be fixed because I could be fixed. None of the things that bother me would ever have to bother anyone else.

You think past that and,,, well,, that’s probably how everyone feels. Nothing special about you. Nothing cursed or gifted in your blood, it’s just blood. You are here and you are unhappy and you are looking to blame. Shit is your own fault and no matter the mental gymnastics you’re capable of….

Reactionary.

Possibly even on a subconscious level.

ANd how beautiful is the mind?

How awe inspiringly complex?

This thing we are…..

For the fun of it, daydream you have the power to halt ALL dirty bloodlines. You’re able to find the bad gene and edit it out, from the ENTIRE population.

You’d probably lose creativity because you’d lose the struggle.

You’d lose the good versus evil because there is no evil to fight, not within, everything has been edited out…

That’s not reality and it feels like it could never be.

Also the task is far too daunting.

To declare ourselves God through knowledge and take it upon ourselves to remedy this predicament.

Overwhelming, 8 billion people.

How many bugs in the bloodline?

Out of 8 billion?

How many serial killers, child molesters, cult leaders, money manipulators , liars and thieves?

Tons.

Zoom out and picture all the people, with red rivers flowing between them, connected by these microscopic living cells..

Ahhh..

Too much to think about.

Not feasible, not fixable.

But if you could get that number down to 100 million?

If you could control what sperm and eggs are allowed to mingle?

You could fix it,, and by the transitive property, could fix me. There wouldn’t be someone else in the future feeling like I feel.

And there it is…

The reason.

Self hatred.

Are we going to kill the planet?

Possible. Down the road.

I DO feel like man has a tendency to never stop.

Man also has this unexplainable glimmer of hope and optimism, and it’s super foreign to me , but I like it when I see it. I like feeling good about people. I like seeing empathy and caring. I like seeing people try. I like those parts…

But it’s tough.

We were born into these systems and it’s how it goes,

all of it.

Seems like if you wanted to restructure the whole thing,,,I’m sorry,, it seems like you’d have to kill off the old.

Seems like you’d need a fresh plate, a blank page, a new beginning.

I’m sorry I feel like this,, and it’s reaching,, it takes a suspension of disbelief to even get there, but it works in my head.

Seems like paradise.

Population culled, genetics corrected globally, and an entirely new system of living.

Seems like the fix,, to me.

I’m also wrong AF, like, allll the time.

And if you’re battling God, You might as well battle his children too. Super easy to do. Super easy to look at the nastier side of the coin, easy to become fixated on how awful we are.

And I do that.

It’s my own flaw.

I wish I had Normal blood and could just have normal life.

No fucked up backstory, no drug history, no list of failed relationships , no dysfunctional family and family tree,,

Just normal.

I wish I had that.

So instead of working on myself, I type out long lists describing how the world would be better with less people.

It’s a fallacy .

And that’s our word for today.

A word worth knowing.

Ego ego ego