“Meant to be”
There’s a feeling in it, just the phrase itself.
Like belonging or purpose or home.
Like “what is” had to be that way.
Every choice you made, every mistake, every victory and loss, every lesson.
The concept of “path”.
Deep shit.
Heavy shit.
Possibly entirely in the imagination.
Whether there is a God with a plan or you will always be the victim of your path,
It implies motion.
For the greater group at large.
Like we’re All little ants and we had to walk down this particular line.
Had to.
Predestined.
And everyone you meet, chance encounters and random coincidence…
Applying to tragedy and luck both.
It had to be that way.
The monsters had to be there too.
The Hitlers and Jim Jones’s and Joseph Duncans and the rest.
Everything had to happen exactly how it did.
A Pentecostal lunatic singling you out, speaking in tongues, pointing right at you and broadcasting with such volume.
“God has big plans for you”
Is that so?
I’m just a child.
Unsure and broken by the outside.How is it that God could have a plan for me?
Later on, I thought back on the memory.
“which God?”
There’s clearly several, regardless of what the commandments said.
People are worshipping different things, obviously.
(while simultaneously worshipping themselves)
For sure. Always been. Vanity is old news and honestly a bit boring.
Nobody gives a fuck about you.
You’re wasting my time, telling me about how special you are..
Preacher tricks.
(but it still happened)
Yes, people at the church freaked me the mother fuck out when I was a little boy, and part of me remained a little boy,,like,, forever.
(a multitude of reasons)
And I Drew in.
And I learned to observe.
And I learned tricks too.
Shady shit..
Just like them..
—
(lay some tricks on us?)
People like to be frightened. But safely.
They’ll spend real money in it and they’ll invest time in a story,if the story scares them a little.
Only observation.
They also love tragedy.
A car wreck that you can’t look away from .
And that Armageddon shit puts dollars in the collection plate,, some reptile brain relationship with fear.
Being alive is so scary. So incredibly terrifying, that people will believe anything.
To feel above.
To feel eternal.
And when they reach a place of believing,when they perceive the soul and the soul’s relationship with time,,
What’s that phrase? They said it all the time..
“a peace that passes understanding”
I have an uncle that said it was the highest high,when he met Jesus.
(he was a drug guy)
He was, same weird blood as me.
And God killed his wife,which happens,ya know?
I can get past it.
(you’ve lost your point)
Shit… you’re right..
I am romantically drawn to the concept of fate, it’s a really fun thought. That everything,good and bad, was supposed to happen that way.
It’s fun.
It’s a really fun thought.
Makes you feel like you have a place, and everyone else does too.
The wealthy and the homeless.
The smart and the dumb.
The health nut and the junkies.
The loving parent and the orphan.
The aggressor and the victim.
Yin yang balance face.
Balance a look in the eyes.
You can walk forever,and you can bang your head against the wall and you can cry and you can even learn to embrace the pain…
Still part of a plan..
Still had to be this way.
For me,for you, for Kevin’s dead girlfriend.
Had to.
Had to be this way..
Can I believe in fate without being religious?
I don’t want to stand with them.
(I don’t particularly like them)
Hypocrisy lol 😂..
Late thoughts 💭🤔🤔
I like the concept.
It’s probably not real,,but I suppose it’s possible…
Fate.
Path.
Plan..
Makes your insignificant ass life feel better.
Like there’s a point. 😉
—
I have a bad headache tonight 🤕🤕
Probably kratom.
I’d like a different medicine 💊
This one has reached the limits of usefulness.
You can’t start over..
But you can chop your penis off and dress up like a woman.
It’s a pretty vast world.
–.
My brain has a receptor that’s out of whack. I can feel it when I close my eyes . Something is not right in the, or it’s just a headache
dawn 