dawn

Bob is going skydiving with me, I only mentioned it once and he immediately bought his ticket.

That’s another example of a real friend and real friends are the shit. And people ain’t all bad, flawed but not bad, I like being reminded.

I get it twisted often.

Hell yeah 👍 everything has layers

And it’s adorable when people think you care. Like you give a shit about their opinion of you.

And that’s how you win.

That’s how you love through every battle, pure disconnect, pure existence in another dimension.

“awe, sorry pal… We don’t play by the same rules, we don’t live in the same universe” 🤣🤣

——————–

I bought my pants too long, just some shit I never think about.

Like, why?

Why do I have to care about clothes? Or presentation? Or how the world at large perceives you?

Really though.

You want to care a little, you want to not be an outsider, you want to do things the right way,,

But you’re faking it.

You really don’t care and people can tell, soooo, maybe you accept. There’s something in that.

Maybe beauty, maybe effortlessness, maybe some lack of core value or understanding.

It’s still you.

And you don’t have to care.

Care about what matters, but everything else?

“Try harder”

You want to dare the days to come at you, because you’ve got a pocket full of experience and several chapters about whatever the topic is.

Fuck it.

I should still try to buy the proper pairs of pants though. I just don’t think about it.

One of those things🤣🤣🤣

I will absolutely go buy milk at a grocery store, in my bathrobe and sweats.

” you think I won’t?”

I’ve done it so often that I’m bored with it.

The rewire feels impossible, that’s why I lean towards drug therapy and potential doorways like that .

You know that you can’t undo shit, not a death sentence, but a list of avoidance tools. Tell yourself

“yo I just try to exist at this point”

Fair enough, you’ve survived.

Now what?

(draw blueprints?)

I actually like drawing blueprints, it might wear off but I’m not nearly close to that point yet. Just happy to be using my brain 🧠🧠🧠

I wonder if you can buy South Park’s new s*** off of the apple store.

I’m sick of subscribing to things, YouTube premium is absolutely worth it, Hulu Netflix. I’m pretty much done with everything else I would like to purchase just the material that I want, just the products and I’ll pay a premium.

I am skilled at anything I want to be, anything at all, if I’m interested I’m capable.For sure. A blood talent.

Not always useful, but always in the family tree.

And if these are the last days of what we know, I strongly believe that Im meant for it, and I’ve always just felt like I was waiting, waiting, waiting.Or it ..

Could be plain old anxiety, that’s normal too.

I don’t listen to people that steal from me, and trust is a mother fucker, but whatever whatever, maybe we’ll all be dead soon