dawn

Man I hate being sober, I fuckin hate it.

ANd allll you mother-fuckers don’t know what you’re talking about.

I get so ill, and so angry, and I want to crap into my hand and just walk up to strangers at the mall, I want to stuff it right into their face.

I want to blow up the entire fucking world, and it’s kinda funny, but only after it passes. I really do. I do not see ourselves as something to be admired,

I see us as a nuisance, a hinderance , a roadblock, a stifling , a festering pulp, a boil, a blister, a bacteria.

I really do.

And it’s projecting, it’s my internal manifesting into the external and blah blah blah,

But here’s the thing….

You’re never wrong. You can be shitty, you can be misguided , but you’ll never be disappointed .

Not if you hate them.

And I mean like, REALLY hate them.

If you’re in that mood and your goddamn mother-fuckin vibrates

“BREAKING NEWS, fatal shooting at high school”

Then you get to have a little battle with the empathy monster, you get to test your steel and see if the mood is real, or just a mood. The demon knuckles up and the angel cracks it’s neck.

Ready to rumble?

Two possible outcomes,, in that headspace, in that mood.

Your eyes glance over the headline and visualize the scene.

If your instinct is to chuckle?

Cast into the lake of fire.

If your instinct is to cry, and to feel small and helpless and honestly feel for the parents of innocent children?

Human,, hate to say it, hate to admit it,,,

Now, just for the thought experiment ,, and hang on this is gonna be rough,, picture the victim as an asshole. A cocky little fucker talking all that mad shit, that internet level of shit talk,,,

Eeessshhhh.

(You lost me)

That’s why it’s a thought experiment .

Feel bad for the stranger until you picture him as a villain.

Fucking around with morality,totally within imagination.

(Soooo kids deserve to get shot now?)

Of course not.

People are also massive assholes, bigger than Jupiter , young/old doesn’t matter. People are fucking dicks and they’re easy to spot.

(You’re a dick)

Indeed, but I keep it hidden in real life, best I can.

And if I behaved like I type,mmmmmm, I would hope someone would shoot me in the face, dodge the Pineal gland though please, let me have those last moments..

But yeah.

We dicks sometimes.

I’m not special, but THIS brain, with no pot,drink,kratom,,, no buzz,,,,this brain sucks. And it’s exhausting.

And it leans towards hater.