dawn

It’s been a long time since an unattractive musician has become famous.

Or popular, whatever.

I’d like to see one, male or female, see one so talented that it doesn’t matter.

Their business used to be the ears, and when you took in music you were taking in one thing.

Sound vibrations moving from a speaker to your eardrum.

Eventually, you had to look good too.

(I just thought of two)

(unattractive, successful modern musicians)

Shit you’re right.

And I wouldn’t call either of them “ugly”, just less traditionally attractive.

Saying names would be mean. And I’m not.

If people are going to be looking at you, you’re supposed to care what you look like.

Thems the rules .

(to what end?)

To no end.

Not until you’re the most beautiful and attractive person that’s ever walked.

Self improvement until you hold up against all scrutiny.

The pedestal..

(like Lucifer?)

Ha!

Yes, a bit like the fictional character known as Lucifer 😂

Vanity and pride and desperation for attention.

Weigh your worth against your own talent,in the wee hours of the night.

You have to be desperate for attention annnnd talented at getting attention?

Skilled enough to deserve the eyes and ears on you?

Entertaining?

(Sounds about right)

Wouldn’t you rather bag groceries?

Wouldn’t you rather flip hamburgers?

Wouldn’t you rather be a lumberjack?

(a bit yes)

Sooooo, what am I supposed to do about that? How am I supposed to behave when that’s the format and each and every one of us have become a television channel?

Dedicated to ourselves.

(……..)

(fuck it?)

Fuck it.

I’m going to do what I want, because it’s the Internet.

And I’m in a position of   ‘no stakes ‘

So I have freedom.

And I can do whatever, and learn at whatever speed fits me.

(turtle)

Still,,I’d like to see more famous but ugly musicians.

We love ourselves so much and we want to tell people.

Bleh,, not standing on anything. No earned position,,,

But that’s alright.

Not my problem…

What has YouTube taught us?

(you can be successful, you can be seen..)

I don’t wanna…

I don’t even like them.

Influencer….

Looking around and seeing your influence…

(you see your own)

And it makes me nauseous.

Makes me hate em…

The fuck is wrong with people? Fucking around with regular citizens…

(you said you forgive..)

I do.. but it’s still fucking weird.

Bleh…. Makes me wanna puke 🤮🤮🤮

Hate you.

All.

Hope you stub your toe today.

Fuckin internet.

Slop bucket.

Hangout of the sewage.

Disposable and despicable folks.

Punk….

(get some sleep)

I’m going to try to stay awake, I can do it lol.

(rambling fucker..)

It’s the only weapon I have 😢

Please leave me alone.

Forever…I don’t want to be a target and I also don’t want you to see anything original, because I hate you all.

Cocksuckers wouldn’t even tell me sorry 😔

(let it go)

You’re right….Just

Sleepy.

I fucked up and went self involved, that’s on me ,like always…

(put it all out of your mind)

Yeah….

I’ve been good with no News, no podcasts (popular podcasts), no social media cept YouTube,

I’ve put a good bit of effort into detachment.

And you know what?

I feel the same.

I don’t feel any changes, being blind to everything outside.

I don’t feel any different at all.

Which tells me none of it is important.

Or was.

We are reactionary and we’ve been conditioned to think that we’re part of it.

Whatever it is.

We take the illusion that we are in there with those topics, like we have a say, like anything we think makes a damn..

Vomit.

Vomit on all of this.

I’m only proud of wasting people’s time.

Hang my hat and speak your heart.

I hope the world hates it and I hope they hate me, I hope they’re indifferent to my existence or any other ant’s.

Cause I hate you.

Bastards.

I’ll tie them up In the basement, and I’ll strap them down.. then I’ll put salmon right by their nose.

I’ll force them to smell it rotting.

Slow…

It’d take days… You’d never eat salmon again. Wouldn’t want to smell it…be around it…fresh or rotting..

And that’s how I’m going to quit smoking.

By being strapped down for 5 days.

No vacation, straight torture son.. maybe torture is the catalyst I truly need?

Gotta find somebody I trust… Trust enough to torture me,, like I need to be… because I deserve it 😭😭😭

That’s a big ask..

You can’t ask a stranger 😔😔

(fuck are you yapping about?)

I don’t know, I just wanted to see how many sentences I could type…

I should feel bad but as a human I’m tired of it. Bored 😴😴😴

Sun’s coming up ☀️🌞🌞

Advertisers are whores,, I see you over there.

You people are All dumb as fuck.

And I played you.

And the thought runs around my head because it’s such a weird scenario,, bleh