dawn

I took a drag off a cigarette, and for some reason it tasted funny.

For split second I tasted incinerated cocaine, and I thought back to the numerous times that I heated cocaine and inhaled it deeply.

I enjoyed that one, great God Almighty, I enjoyed that delivery system.

No lies no bullshit.

Younger me greatly enjoyed the sheer insanity of that particular high.

Uhhhh.

Transformative.

Super super negative end destination.

But while you were up?

I’ll kill all of you.

No no no, You don’t understand.

I will kill…all of you.

And I can, because I’m that high above you.

Yep …

Probably shouldn’t spend time thinking about it.

But for a split second I tasted it..

People like me usually end up in prison…or homeless , so I’m already ahead 👍

I..

I’m going to get some meds for this brain, floating around July I think. I just can’t do it. And it’s not my fault, it’s your fault.

The farmhouse might be the worst thing I’ve ever heard.

Shame on you for putting that out into the public.

Listen to it again.

You should feel bad.

Listen to it again.

Think about it.

I’d hang from the rafters before I would ever do that.

And the motivation?

The core rationalization?

Audience.

Clicks.

Likes.

Traction.

And I bought onnnnneee…

Meh, shake it off .

It’s not new.

Not a new thing so it’s not worth looking at.

Don’t let it haunt you.

I don’t mind talking about the past, or missing cocaine, or any of that, try not to live there.

Simply what was.

Not a good way to be, but a level of experience that you cannot fake, I suppose you should run with that.

I think water is the answer, but only moving water, and you have an unexplainable desire to be near it. To get into it.

Then you feel better.

Through and through.

And no one can tell me why it is this way.

—

“hey…I’m going to tell you something but I’m going to whisper..”

You’re a poser 😉