dawn

When grunge got old and all the mannequins started paying taxes.

When the strings were noticed but disregarded.

Puppet dolls with glassed eyes, off on the sidelines..

Countless mobs,

If you were blind, you could still tell if you were standing in the woods.

And if you could hear, you would be all too aware of their presence..

Tupac told me about his ambitions as a rider, And I admire the concept so much.

Separating the wheat from the shaft, mice and men and all of that.. there’s a billion lyrics that express the same thing..

I torched my soul to show the world that I am pure, deep inside my heart-cherub rock

Stuff like that..

Clown is a noun and an adjective, and a verb.

(and a government)

Nah, a population.

A giant, spongy thing…

(sucking up all moisture)

Yep .. dry as the Sahara over here…

Drier than a woman’s vagina at a Magic the Gathering convention…

(It was my only wish to rise, above these jealous, coward motherfuckers I despise -2pac)

Good fucking writer man..

Not my color, not my bloodline, not my language… Taboo for me even to be intrigued…

But I don’t care.

Love is love.

And you love what you love.

So I am alive, and I am absolutely free to love gangster rap, and little kitty cats… And guitars.. and flying.. and video games with friends…

And that’s the score.

I don’t necessarily enjoy a dick ride, But it still made me chuckle…

That’s right 👍

I won’t change.

Not in that area.

Because my heroes wouldn’t either, They would laugh as the situation approached..

And I did.

So, I found out what I already knew.

I am pure.

Flawed.

Gross.

Some areas are better than others, but still.

The part that matters to me…

“be like them”

And be very careful for whom you cast your gaze upon ..

Do it for the right reasons, and learn all that you know for yourself.

(the hard way)

If you have to..

Listen to the legends, they will help you get through.. If God isn’t answering… If you’ve gotten a busy signal for a few decades..

There are entities that have existed, that will help carry you through, psychologically.

In the soul.

And they travel through time, so your vision must be very sharp, must be very perceptive..

(and high?)

That’s not about this… That’s not what I’m talking about..

(you’re a fuckin weirdo man…)

Yeah,and a pain in the ass…but you see..I had to be this way.

Fate.

The most romantic idea of all.

And if Bill Maher and Donald Trump had dinner together, How would the conversation go?

Common ground.

“Israel is great”

For the atheist and the actor portraying spiritual connection…

I’m not mad at them.. And I’ve put a lot of thought into this…

I understand, ,

Much of my anger is merely misplaced anchor.

(You’re still right)

No.

I just wanted a chance to throw mud at a nation, and by proxy, a people.

Because I’m mad, and I was wounded by the stories they drilled in.

And it hurt me..

And it hurts me to see the absence of peace.

Eternal conflict.

Women and children and planes flying into buildings, people jumping off those high buildings, throwing themselves out of windows because the fire and the smoke is coming, and the cameras are all on, and we have recorded microphones and telephone calls of the panic… The terror.

When you go to meet God.

(this “God” character sure is responsible for a lot of carnage)

And humans are capable of the worst things…

I don’t wish for any bombs to be dropped on Israel..

I do wish we would not back a bully, just because of “faith”

Yeah.. I’m hung up on it.

It’s not a liberal or a conservative thing, because I don’t identify as either.

And I never will.

I barely identify as an American, And even less as a North Carolinian.

The only redeeming quality that I can hold on to, are the trees and the grass in the hills and the skies and the vines and the bugs and the birds and the rivers and the leaves.

And how beautiful it is here.

If I leave, which my gut tells me I will at some point..

I would wish to be buried here.

But not buried, cremated and have my ashes spread here.

(and a little bit put into a litter box)

At a cat sanctuary.

Because that’s the ripple effect, Because that is fate, And that is heavenly judgment…

It’s really nice out today, a little humid, a little warm.. a good evening for pacing with the strays..

I might shower and wash my face and cut my fingernails and go sit in the sanctuary.

Point B.

The place in the past that you’re always trying to get back to..

Hmm…

👋 hey 👋

I know my brain is obnoxious.

I know.

Rorschach was a cool character, I always liked the idea of the man with no face.

Identity and ego thing.

And I still think giving up an interest in true crime was a good move.

I know a lot about that stuff.

Remember a lot of stories that I heard.

And I feel better, now that I’m not saturating my mind with those thoughts..

Even if it is interesting, It’s only interesting because it’s perverted.

Because it’s wrong.

And it’s the opposite of good, or light, or love, or peace.

The opposing force in the universe.

(darkness)

I like when I’m not depressed.

I like that version of myself better.

And I haven’t done any barbiturates in a very long time, those were always tough to find.

Phenobarbital.

Tranquilizer stuff.

A very bizarre high.

Different from opiates.

Or stimulants, or hallucinogens, or cannabis, or kratom for that matter.

Barbies… 😂

(Barabbas)

What an interesting story, I’d like to hear more about that guy.

When they asked the crowd “we can release this murderer, or the son of your God”

And the crowd was like

“give us Barabbas”

I imagine he looked at Jesus and said “Nice guys finish last”

Give us Barabbas, give us the terrible human who has committed crimes against the species and entity that we are.

Mob mentality.

So flawed.

So dangerous.

(So predictable)

For me ..

Not for everyone, but definitely for me…

It’s a funny story.

(come here…I got the pieces here…time to gather up the splinters and build a casket for your tears –poe)

Gah…that’s a good fuckin line 💙

“ No Black…and White.. through the Blue…”-yoko kanno 💙