dawn

I actually did get away from booze, I just did it a fucked up way.

We can agree that addiction swapping is very stupid, and at its core you simply can’t stand a sober reality.

But still.

At least I was able to get to the point where I realized

“I don’t want to be this”

And as dumb as it sounds, I think I got there through typing. Reading back over some of the drunk typing, and feeling,,shit man, feeling shame.

(And laughing)

Yeah I found some stupid places😀

I digress.

In moments of real reflection, I know deep down, that the answer is not in intoxication.

Which is terrifying.

And they’re all connected.

Even the pot.

And not swallowing any pills is a hard pill to swallow.

(Rimshot)

Only speaking for myself.

I’d never impose my opinion on anyone else, just taking a second to shoot straight with myself.

Substituted booze for kratom, now the desire for booze is 0%

Doesn’t even come up.

No itch. No desire to hit the liquor store.

Zilch. Nada, nuthin, narfin’ .

So put on your investigator hat..

(Well detective… seems like your drug of choice is all of them,, seems like you just need to be in an altered stated, and the vehicle doesn’t even matter)

Facts…

“My name’s Justin, and I’m a fuckin junkie”

But I’m not dead yet.

So for the drag entry,,

(No rules)

Still..

If being a drunk is a person you don’t want to be, you can realize that being a bummer is also a person you don’t want to be.

It’s tough,, just rough sometimes,, but I got this. I’m not awesome but I am OK.

Ok enough to figure out such basic dumb shit, and learning yourself..

(Knock it off with the self reflection)

Yeah yeah,, I got no jokes, just thinking.

So blah!

Get that feeling late at night, somethin in you is screaming,

(Get it together)

Indeed sir, and if I could split myself in two, I’d physically go at it , hard.

(Neither of us know how to fight ,stupid)

Doesn’t seem to stop us from talking a lot of shit though,,

Alright..

I’m whack as fuck.

We start there, work our way out.

Still…

No booze, I think almost two months.

(Hey good job man, it’s a start, being sincere. I believe in you)

I’d rather be sincere too..

(Sincerely whack)

Fine, as long as it’s sincere..

Alright, I’m gonna knock it off.

I wish I got to a place where I didn’t need to type, and I’d only do it when I wanted to..

(It could happen)

Yeah, it could…

And I’ve been over it a hundred times, the person in the parenthesis is me.

I’m aware.

It’s just a thing to do on paper and I find it useful.

I got no voices in my head.

(Promise)

lol, is creeping people out,,is that a talent?

I know it’s not marketable, but is it a talent?

Weirding mother fuckers out?

Meh,, who cares?

Alright,,alright,,,

I have to change everything