I loved that cat more than anything.
Sounds dramatic, I know,,
But there were points when it was just He and I versus the world.
Long before you met me, in the dead of winter, in a desolate scenario..
Before this.
In hindsight, I can’t believe I made it through, having nothing, literally rock bottom. Shaking off mood stabilizers and the like .
But my guy was there.
He’d wait for me.
He was in tune, he was able to read me in a way that no one else ever could.
Down past the layers.
He didn’t care.
A special connection.
God I miss him sometimes.
Hurts to think about.
He wasn’t like the others, and I love them all. I love Cricket and cherish the time we have together,,but Monster..
It’s like,, no other thing would have been right for me. No other life event or human companion or tangible wealth would have carried me through.
Nothing but exactly what he was, nothing but the bond that we shared.
Nothing else would have pulled me towards the light, towards the good, towards whatever is right.
A desire to care.
A desire to feed him and keep him warm and safe.
The nights when we had no power and it was so cold outside, so we doubled up in the sleeping bag,
Nobody near here, no one cares if I live or die. No one cares about me.
No one but you.
He was exactly what I needed,
Exactly when I needed it.
And it appealed to all the good parts of yourself, the better nature.
I had to fight.
Because I had something I cared about.
Even if it was just a cat.
(A special cat)
Very special.
The year I spent in Virginia, up on that mountain, a brother’s tiny RV, the Murder INC clan,,,
The internet and gaming forums.
The people you’ll meet,
(The places you’ll go)
This sounds crazy,,,
When I think of Monster, I think of fate.
And if there is no God, then why would this scenario be sent into my life?
This creature that can see me in some bizarre way.
Makes me want to cry.
It’s stupid.
It’s just a cat.
You see them dead on the road all the time
(Stray cat)
He was special.
Changed my life.
Looked at me in this certain way, Loved me in this certain way, he knew where I was in spirit.
He knew if I was up or if I was down or isolated or sad or psycho,,
I can’t describe it, and some of it might be in my head.
(A small handful..)
I’d say a very small number of people are meant to change your life, whether you’re a social type or not.
Fuck around with “fate”, fuck around with “path” and “story”,
On the most personal level,,
A very few number of souls are meant to matter, to you.
Sounds shitty, but I have friendships and failed romances I’d trade to have Monster back. And if I died and found anything after death, I don’t know why, but I know he’ll be there.
And I don’t know why.
And I’m guilty as fuck, for all I’ve done, and I deserve to burn for eternity,
But if you could have been a fly on the wall… when I was with him, when I was coming off of this particular stretch of time..
My best.
That was my best.
Living on heart alone.
Starving.
My strongest moments.
Monster and me in a tiny RV.
Blizzards for forlorn wizards and “never was” types.
Powerless but pushing on.
Stretches of time that make you who you are.
And that’s why I won’t be beat.
That’s why I will move past this season.
Because of mother-fuckin Monster Man Klein.
Monster man.
The best that ever lived.
dawn 