dawn

As much as I hate it, I think I need an outlet that is more anonymous.

It would not take much work to find me, and I have no

Naivete ..

Not considering the online landscape..

Strangers?

Strangers don’t mean s***, and I think it’s perfectly normal to get a kick out of throwing poop at them.. but real life?

No, no, no.

I would be in big trouble if my employer ever saw the things that I say in the shadows.

Which I’ll never give up, by the way, I’ll never give up the right to speak because it’s so much fun.

You can tell I have fun with it.

And I get my money’s worth out of owning a website..

But real life?

Nah, I’d be in big trouble.

Instantly hated, deeply deeply hated.

And if I left and went to a different job?

They could find me too, I’ve already seen it happen.

Kind of terrifying.

And it seems like it’s one of two things,

Either we didn’t know the power in which we were fucking with.

Or a human should say nothing at all.

Ever.

I spend a lot of time thinking about it, real talk no foolsies, and I will die on this hill,,

Just sucks that a person should have to.

A civilian.

A non-famous nobody.

Kind of sucks that you should have to watch your mouth.

You do it because it’s fun.

I wish I could brag about my music gear to my few friends, they’re pretty poor too and it’s tacky and in bad taste.

But I’ve got some pretty cool stuff, speaking from our level, where we exist and came from.

I have things that we would have never imagined.

And I can’t share that joy or excitement with anyone, and it’s a drag.

On some of the true crime b******* I take in, a lot of people killed and tortured and did heinous acts in the hope to be heard.

If you were really good, you could do it without any of that.

You could do it without harming a fly.

Just saying..

You know have many times I think about posting a fundraiser or a patreon?

I don’t.

Cuz then I’d be just like everyone else… If you can be nothing else at least try to be yourself. Better or worse.

Fffuck the haters.

Or use them as momentum..

Just think it  through

Between the two of us, I do wish I was better with English. With communication in general, or storytelling or trying to express feelings or,,, I guess anything. Anything that uses thought…

More people write poetry than read poetry -George Carlin

You can use that observation to cast judgment, to point out how self-involved we all are.

I personally think he was wrong, not about the statistics, but about where it comes from.

And I think doing a thing is so important, even if you’re throwing it directly into the trash.

Whether or not it belongs there doesn’t really matter, I guess.

I would be 10 times worse off if I didn’t have it though, so whatever.

Let the judgment come.

Raise eyebrows stir up fears and welcome yourself for mockery.

I suppose that’s what vulnerable means.

I’m still okay with it.

As in, it’s worth it. And I will do this until I die.

I like Henry David Thoreau a lot, but he still leaned on other people. I was dating a girl in graduate school, she was explaining Walden to my uneducated person.

I like him.

But he still wouldn’t have made it without friends.

The camera I got has a magnetic base, and I might mount it to the top of my car drive around some of these roads. It’s really beautiful, rolling hills, I think those should have been the only things I was talking about.

All the nice stuff around. It’s always there but you have to have an eye for it..

I do not personally understand the quest to be remembered.

But if given the choice, I wish my music was better and I would be remembered for that.

Or I was more funny.

Clever or what the f*** ever.

But none of this.

I would not want to be known for any of this.

And I didn’t just collect a few pieces of music gear, I amassed a small studio.

Bless me please father,I’m a ghost -hail Mary 💖

These words are for anyone who dares to hear a fool-bc

And Kim was the sweetest, she had the best spirit. Just the nicest person