Oftentimes I’ll be mid conversation with another human and I’ll have this realization.
(Not only is there no point to existence, there’s no point to this conversation)
People tend to open throttle on the same points.
“Character building”
Telling the stories and making yourself the hero.
Tale old as time, saying some bullshit, hoping the listener will follow and view you in whatever light you enjoy being viewed in.
Seen that trick before.
Your head starts going to math,,,
(What do you suppose the percentage is?)
When someone opens their mouth,,
How often is it pointless?
How often is the air moving through the larynx and forming words with the vocal cords and the mouth,,,how often is it useless?
How often is it doing the same old shit.
Dumping the same old, playing some angle or just talking to themselves THROUGH you.
Depends where you are, depends who you’re around.
This is the same fucking thing, right chea,talking yourself in circles for no good reason at all… but hey, I stand by it.
It’s better than unloading in real life.
Cheaper than therapy too.
But at the end of it…
I would not listen to me.
Ain’t no way.
But I am limitless in here and without governance.
After death I could come back here and say it exactly right, fit the words together just right,
Ego death of course.
A mental vacation of 4 days and a massive dose of psychedelic , campfire, vomit and diarrhea , stars and solitude, lot of crying. Probably a lot of crying.
(How much easier??)
Yes, that would have been much easier than typing to yourself. That would have been a more efficient approach.
(Perhaps you’ll go mad)
It’s a risk we all have to take.
This mother fucker is vanilla as shit and the slog cuts up your soul. Just keeping your head up requires every bit of energy,every ounce of fight. So you talk about it.No pot of gold at the end of shit, not the point.
(Back to the point)
The point doesn’t exist.
Only the frittering of minutes and hours.
(You feel shame for that?)
Nah.
I’m shameproof.
And I’m still right.
Typing to no one is better than unloading heavy shit on people in real life.
(5 grams of dried mushrooms)
It’s terrifying, it’s a terrifying concept, not gonna lie.
I’ve gone deep but it’s been a long time, 5 grams is uhhh,,,
(Stout)
Yes, that’s quite a bit.
Maybe I should put my faith in pharmaceuticals , I really am a better human with a very very small dose of Xanax , no joke.
They’re not around and you can’t get them, but I don’t seek them out either.
Seriously though, I like myself much more on a very low dose of Xanax . I’m nicer. More considerate,less profanity, less itch to smoke, less jitters, less hand ticks, less nonsense in the head.
A miracle drug.-
But I’m not responsible enough to wield the power,
I can’t have 30 pills in a bottle because I’ll always ratchet , I’ll always escalate .
It’s a drag.
That pill could fix me, if it didn’t become a crutch…
Shit….
(Does anybody know where I can get some Xanax?)
Lulz,, yea man,,,nerve pills,,, nerves are a mother fucker, keeps your hands crisp but fucks everything else up.What a drag..
Alright, I enjoyed typing today, I hope the world has a great day and people are happy and nice to their kids,neighbors and pets.
dawn 