dawn

The internet keeps feeding me psych articles about “outgrowing friendships”.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when you know it’s right.

And when you’re picky about whom you fellowship with.

If you have only a few long term friends..a pros and cons list might come into play.

I could list them off, one by one, but at the end??

It’s conflict.

You can’t give energy to a spirit that refuses to engage in the churning of logic.

You can’t fuck with someone that won’t consider another point of view.

It like, it fucks with the ego.

A person views themselves as standing strong, standing on “the right side of history”, proclaiming virtue.

They’re full of shit too.

ANd loyalty means the world to me, that ain’t no jive, I value it beyond nearly everything else.

Loyal.

I’m here.

I’m here for you.

I’ll be here for you tomorrow.

But if you can’t engage in civil discourse?

We won’t get anywhere.

So it’s a waste of time…

Wish them well..

Part ways, but not in bitterness.

The things that made me like you will always remain true.And I’ll always be rooting for you.

But…

The paths diverge.

“We’ll cover distance, but not together”- royksopp, what else is there?

Letting go is a skill.

Forgiveness is a virtue.

I have no enemies, because I don’t care enough to put eyes on them, I know what I know and that’s enough.

Enough to start on.

I know that I know so little, therefore, I will not spout my certainty as a method of attraction.

I don’t need to be right.

I don’t need to find identity in that..

And I don’t talk over people.

Out of respect for the process.

If I had three long term friends, I can zoom out, I can observe behavior, and I can determine that two of them are a waste.

(Loyalty has forsaken you..)

In this context.

In this particular lifetime.

I needed them for the journey, I needed them for the experience of the moment.

It’s good to realize when that time comes to an end.

I look back with joy, I value what was, I recognize that fact that I latched on to dysfunctional monkeys.

For whatever reason.

(Kindred. They felt like brothers)

Aye,, they did..

But I would much like to move past dysfunction.

No matter how long it takes..

Now.. I will take my inner child and I will build,and I will play. I will shift in the morning and I will work.

I will be at peace and I will try to exude that peace.

I’ll forgive and I’ll move on.

I will dig the trees and the breeze and the ants.

Scope out the rain.

I’ve lost nothing…

I might need another blog for the truly useless rambling,,,

I uh,,,,

Ummmmm…

Not used to being heard