I wonder what my next drug will be.
There’s an understanding of substitution, always gotta trade one in for another.
I think it might be melatonin.
I’ve done it before and you learn that the tolerance game absolutely applies.
I was taking a lot.
And…
At some point I decided to stop, decided to try and reach sleep naturally.
I was up for three days.
Not high, just awake.
And that’s how fuckin screwball the tolerance game becomes.
Few months of dependency on anything, dead stop, no god damn sleep.
And you look like shit, feel like shit.
People talk to you like you’re crazy..
Nah,, gotta have sleep.
Healthy sleep.
Not adulterated or chemically induced.
The secret recipe.
Just between us,,, I kinda like how fucking stupid The South is.
Because I’m one of theirs, I don’t have to try. I can just appear to blend in.
And the people around you will accuse you of being arrogant, they’ll claim you walk around with an air of superiority..
The response is simple..
Listen to you talk.
Forget about me and whatever is in my head, listen to you. Listen to the things you say.
Working on a camera system at a housing project, the maintenance guy spills out
“I hope they smile at night, so the camera catches em”
Meaning…
These cameras are being installed to watch black people, and he hopes they smile so the white in their teeth shows up on the video footage,, because they’re like,,,black.
Hardy har har.
” if you daydream,,,about killing ALL the people around you…you might be the Antichrist.”
You can even skip the racism or small minded whatever…
It’s the chit chat,, the fucking chit chat with these people…
Someone needs to send out a memo..
“No one cares what you’re talking about”
You have no education.
And you’re poor.
And you’re basically just a drag on the gene pool and dare I say, society itself..
But here we are.
Here i am, listening to you butcher the English language.
Sometimes I like to daydream about smashing things with my face.
No idea why.
I like thinking about people and problems , then I interject myself into the daydream,,then I smash them with my face.
I find myself wondering what kind of damage you could really do with your own skull.
Running at a brick wall, full clip, head down.
You’d have to really want it.
dawn 