Hello blank paper, are we still friends?
Do you still love me?
(Do I have a choice?)
Yeppers, yup and gotcha.
(I’m pretty jealous of Alex)
I am too, he really took control of his body., he was getting to be a fat fuck…
I mean, he still smokes cigarettes, still drinks beers, still eats mushrooms,…
But he offset with effort.
He actually made the commitment and he’s found some zen place in pounding iron.
I know him well, so if I analyze, I can try to pin it down.
Fear.
He’s a father now.
He wants to be around for his little girl
(Whom he loves)
Deeply, he deeply loves his daughter and he showed up for the job.
Fear.
After a string of bad relationships , he’s likely afraid that no one will want to bang him, so by the transitive property, no will want to love him.
(Maybe?)
TO that I say “maybe”, might have some gravity on his choices.
Fear.
I took a leak and noticed all his self help books by the toilet, Jordan Peterson, some stoic life books, philosophy.
Fear.
He still frontmans a band, and he knows that whilst onstage, he is being observed.
He doesn’t want to be observed as a slob.
Fear.
Mortality.
His father has been in prison for 20 plus years, he’s over 80 and he will die in prison, watching his father age and prepare for death likely has a role in his choices.
Either way,,
Jealous…
Not of the results and I’m not the type of cracker that daydreams about being someone else, I don’t look at people and wish I had what they had,, but this one,,
Meh.
I wish I had a reason.
Wish something would push me like it pushes him.
I’m not afraid of being alone,
I accept the fact that death is coming for all of us,
I don’t hold a comparison mindset, not like that.
I do wish my work was good, and I wish it was worthwhile.
If you keep it natural, maybe it’s worth doing.
But…
Whatever got him the fuck off his ass,,
“Respect”
I see you and I’m proud of you.
If I were a dad, I’d care too, can’t even hate on it,,,
He’s also 5 years older than me, and quite the story on him.
Love that dude, always good to spend time with him, and this,,,, this is the fucking year we get back to fishing.
Summer is coming.
Too many people worry about dumb shit
dawn 