dawn

Jonathan melvoin would tell me to knock it off.

Mental danger zone,

Not in the red, but far beyond casual.

What’s that song? One thing leads to another.

You should never neeeed.

I see it.

Very obvious.

Have to try.

You become this weird little consumption monster.And you absolutely must be shoveling something into yourself.

Every waking moment.

You have to be putting something into your head, into your ears, into your eyes, into your mouth, into your lungs, into your bloodstream,, at all fucking times,,,,one way or another.

Little consumption gremlin.

Muh fuckin monkey on your back but it’s for everything.

Little thought monkey, chasing shiny objects, scurrying up a tree, throwing its shit at pedestrians..

Say eeessshh!

Metal on metal.

The carcass of an animal being butchered.A knife cutting and separating flesh from bone 🍗🍗🦴🦴

The little knobs of the kneecaps, socket pelvic floor, ligaments, cartilage,the elbow socket,,the shoulder socket,,, the eye socket.

A metal instrument separating flesh from bone.

Making a wet, tearing sound..

All of it .

Meaty flesh and thin veins, bluish gray muscle tissue, a  serrated knife for your eyeball holes. Scooped  them shits out like ice cream at an artisanal shop .

Like an uppity place.

Too pricey for reason 🍨🍦🍦

Good fuckin ice cream though.

Strawberry cheesecake with the little bits of crust in it.

Top level shit.

Not good for you,but beyond delicious.

This was about being addicted to anything that makes you feel something.

Being addicted to everything.

Loving Too much..

What’s worse, it’s about being a reactionary creature.

And Tupac would be way fucking disappointed.

In an operation like this.

What it feels like to react to everything.

Sacrilege.

Using consumption as a coping mechanism.

Not just in the form of kratom but in ALL forms.

Buying stuff.

Lighting a cigarette.

Smashing a hamburger.

Feeding all the strays that find you.

Being a fuck slave to your insides, to your feelings yo!

Having those fuckers drag you around be the nostrils…

It’s uh.

It’s dogshit.

It might be the worst way to experience life and I’ve fallen into a trap.

And I deserve it.

(end on a downer eh?)

My bad, I was just telling the truth..

(being real with yourself?)

Trying to.

Cause I’m fucked if I keep doing the same things over and over.

(fate)

Maybe . Maybe not. Who knows? I just want to stop with the consumption. It’s gone on forever.

(they say the trick is to trick yourself. Get addicted to something that’s good for you. Body and mind and stuff)

Be obsessed.

Probably the answer.

Vanity.

(not quite. Survival through fighting your shit. Physically fighting all the bullshit inside of you…)

There’s a lot of bullshit.

(we know)

Cut the shit. It’s Friday, you can be free from this by Monday, if you put your heart into it)

It really is expensive 😔😔😔

I’m going to be extra cranky…

(I forgive you. And I can take it)

I know you’re right.

(then give me your word. Stop this)

I have to ween 🙏 I’m at that level with it….

(give me your word..)

How about I confess?

I’ll admit if I fall.

(alright. It’s a start)

Alright..

(you gotta make it man. You gotta get through this phase)

I know…

I need a shrink..

(you fuckin do man)

I need the pills,I get the therapy out here,on these blog Streets, these mean streets..

(it’s a good thing no one is listening)

Holy shit I know.. how embarrassing, a random private citizen being open and honest.

Bleh..

Gross 🤢🤢🤢

(get those pills )

Alright,I give you my word, I’m going to move on this. I promise I am.

(yo shit sad as fuck)

I know,, just give me a few days to dry out.

(out here frying your fucking brain for years and years..)

I know,huge pile of shit, give me till Monday.

(be dry punk)

Alright.

(I love you…)

I love you too, I’m so sorry about all this..

(get Dry stupid)

Make girls dry?

(I’m going to punch you in the nose)

Alright… Dry dry dry.

But I’ll be cool about it, I’ll be dry ice.

(shut the fuck up dude)

Alright…good talk 🦜🦜

(could be worse)

Gratitude..

It could be worse.

I could be a white rapper 😔

(😉)

(don’t talk shit)

Don’t inhibit me from expressing myself.😉

(🤬)

Aha.. beat you with your own rules.

(you’re a moron)

(the game has become,”will you ever shut the fuck up?”)

Lol.You already know the answer..

(yep…)

Could be worse.

(You could have been trapped in a relationship that slowly morphed into a business plan over time)

Could be worse 🤣🤣

(could be worse. You could be dealing with real addiction)

I am dealing with a real addiction.

(you’re dealing with a head-shop addiction,a legal root)

They outlawed it in Vietnam.

I only lean on it because it’s something, and I have to have something.

(pretty cool guitar pedal collection)

Yeah…now THAT is an expensive addiction.

(silly fool)

I’m starting to build my credit so I can have a tiny house and a music shed someday.

(And I think that is an honorable goal)

Tough with addictions.

(no shit dummy)

I think I almost have enough guitar pedals.

(You already have too many)

Why are we still talking?

(because you’re insane)

Alright…Imma go play.

(monkey mind, constant stimuli)

Creation.

Suck my dick.

Creation always wins, giving yourself space for creativity,

(no stakes)

Not the point.

Don’t need the validation 👍

Only need the act.

(you keep saying that..)

This one is really special 💓💓💓

I’m probably going to want to die, just saying,

(what’s new?)

I’m letting you know.

Thou shalt be cranky on high

Fucking Mount Ararat .

Hardcore.

Olive Branch.

Them bitches were thrilled to see it. Because it meant there was land nearby. Land that survived the flood. At least one tree, somewhere.

So they got excited.

And apparently noah it was a complete drunk, And there’s some weird story about one of his kids looking at him naked? When he was passed out drunk, like the story breaks off to explain this to you, basically saying don’t mess around with intoxicated people.

I can’t remember if that was before or after the flood.

I remember thinking it was very strange.

Most of the stories are very strange, some good morals but scary and confusing.

Pretty sad.