dawn

Do you know what “delusion of grandeur ” is? Have you ever heard that phrase? Mental illness, and before I continue, I’d like to list off a gauntlet of important people with manic depressive illness. (I prefer that term over ‘bipolar’)

Jimi Hendrix- Winston Churchill-Kurt Cobain-Vincent van Gogh-Jean Claude van Damme-Mel Gibson -Mariah Carrey

These are all people that mattered, In my simpleton opinion.These are all people that contributed, what they had to say was fucked up, but God’ damn were they good at saying it.

Feeling…shit how to phrase this…. feeling ” larger than a mountain”… it’s real. It’s also delusion, and you’re aware of that fact that you’re speaking the voice of an assassin,the voice of a killer in the crowd… but you still feel it. In that stage of the cycle you feel like…..god…… like you could cut the throats. Like you have everything inside,everything needed to sink a stone directly into Goliath’s fucking forehead.

It’s not real, my friends….. I know that… It’s not a real thing and the individual has sat around watching… sat around and become nothing… the Nobody’s nobody.

But you still feel it….. You feel like you could pull the Sun from the sky and crash into everything we’ve made, everything we think is important…..

But it’s not real…. It’s your head and your emotions, shifty as a mother fucker… and you might ask “where is ‘Love”.. where is meaning and what in the goddamn fuck is the point?”

You just keep going…..

You watch that part of yourself and you keep it in check.

(you are a fool….)

Sometimes…. sometimes I really I am. And I’m sorry that it exists..I’m sorry that it’s the way I approach.

(A FOOL….)