dawn

I remember when I was lifting weights and eating tons of peanut-butter, trying to gain mass…

It made my shits super pleasant, almost like soft serve ice cream, and you could control the rate of feces leaving your body by flexing your abdominal muscles. With a diet of strictly peanut-butter there’s like, no resistance.Taking shits like Alan Watts, no forcing, no effort, dominating the task by letting nature do what it does best.

I like it.

I want to incorporate all the world’s philosophies and religions into how i take shits.

If there’s a problem?

Turn the other cheek (gross)

If there’s an emergency?

Suicide bomb the toilet bowl.

If you’re insecure?

Grab the Christian vibe and judge the fuck out of how other people take shits.

If you feel oppressed ?

Take a massive shit in outer-space, then launch it towards the Earth. WHere it lands will be considered “holy ground”, people from all over the world will pilgrimage to the spot that it lands. They’ll pray to it… they’ll want to touch it.

( you left out Jehovahs Witnesses )

Fuck….

Go door to door, telling people all about your shits, and how they can change lives and help people. All the problems that ever were,,,,can be solved,,, by talking about shits.

(Pentecostals?)

Fuck off, I can’t do this all day.

(Circle back?)

This line of thought isn’t worth it, maybe next time.

(I wonder if people with anal warts have to wipe them individually?)

I kinda liked that entry, made me giggle 🤭

(fuckin silly)

I might buy a car today, but only because of the Palestine/Israel conflict. It’s the right thing to do, to support the right side .

—–

I am better than the car I drive, but all I really give a fuck about is gas mileage.

So I walk into a dealership and a salesman approaches..

“what’s up? I don’t have any credit because I hate you and I resent the system I was born into”

How much are you looking to spend?

“I’m not going to tell you that, I don’t think it’s any of your business. I think if I give you that information, you’ll try to take advantage of me because you’re a cocksucker and I can tell by looking at you.”

Ok…are you looking to trade in your current vehicle?

“I’m not going to tell you that either, because I don’t trust you”

Alright dude, well.. look around and I’ll be here if you have any questions.

“I hate you”

—-

I realize that a problem with my reading is what I’m reading. I dive into fiction, because real life sucks.

Unexpected fact, I get along with old bikers really well .

One time I watched the movie Armageddon on lsd, and I had seen it before, but something about being on acid it just made me cry when the asteroid exploded. It was really beautiful and I don’t want to forget that feeling.

That carlin bit about how satisfying the phrase cocksucker mother fucker is. Hard C’s , sometimes you’ll get in the groove of picking a word and overuse it, then you pick another one and overuse it