dawn

Tobacco is the circle tied to all other circles.Your mind clocking in every few hours, asking for one.

Holding a little flaming stick between your fingers,puffing in a mouthful, inhaling deeply..

You know the best part?

Do you know the best part of the habit?

Being alone.

Taking five minutes for yourself and getting away from the noise.

Thinking.

Now we add things.

Alcohol and tobacco, in the social setting it’s just a cue.Something to hold in your hand as the conversation ramps and usually goes nowhere.

As you get more and more into what you’re saying, which you shouldn’t, the cigarette is the focal point, the walking stick..

Alcohol and tobacco and solitude?

Then it’s a party.

Sitting outside, watching dumb thoughts run through your head

“I’ll pluck this one, and that one, but not that one, oh and this one is stupid, but not quite stupid enough“

Pot and tobacco.

Now the zap is on, and you need a stimulant , you need something to do with your hands. You need it as a staff for conversation, little magic wand, pointing out your dumb thoughts.

Sometimes I’ll visualize the physical process.

Substances and chemicals are ignited, creating smoke.

Smoke is inhaled, absorbed within the lungs via alveoli, transferred to the bloodstream, blood carries said chemicals to the brain.

In no fucking time flat.

Makes you think of how quickly blood moves…

Once in the brain, the nicotine massages your nugget, spreads its lovely fingers out over the wrinkles, works them like biscuits..

Eyes rolling in the back of your head good…

Circles..

The habit is only an indicator of your ability to fight habits.

Your own lack of self control and discipline.

If you have this problem, chances are good that you also have substance dependency issues.

Because you can’t say no.

You know it’s going to kill you, but you keep doing it.

So to rationalize, you tell yourself that nothing on this god forsaken planet matters, and we’re just ants swimming through time and when the asteroid comes, we’ll all laugh at how much we cared.

How much we thought it mattered…..

So yeah.

Cigarettes.

That’s what they’ll do to you ,kids.

They will make you loath waking up everyday, they will make you incapable of crying, they will cast an eternal cloud over all that you see…

Just fucking around.

That’s genetics.

Lighting a corporate plant and putting it in your mouth is a sign though.

It’s a sign that you can’t.

Which is a drag

(Pun!)

Suck my butt

(Double pun!)

I miss drinking lolol.

Not even doing it, just typing when you didn’t care. Dammit that’s fun.

Fun fun fun.

Just another death circle.

All these little invisible cycles tied to your own behavior, little itches daring you to scratch..

I heard a 14 year old kid just shot up a school…

I wonder if he thought it mattered…any of this,,,,,

(Kid could probably use a cigarette, Jesus)

I know right!

Here buddy, light this and calm the fuck down. It’ll make you cool.

At 14…

Four teeeeennn.

It’s an interesting problem to think about. A bizarre symptom of something else..

Some deep understanding, deep enough to kill and die for..

“People are horrible”

Or he wanted to be famous.

Or he was angry about something stupid.

Or nobody liked him, because people are horrible.

Or he was infected with gossip, and it ate up his head.

Until he was insane.

In-Sane.

Insane in the Brain..

Something about that topic,,,makes you want to look at it and think about it.

“Why does this happen?”

So perplexing.

Maybe you can’t fix it, because you can’t make people “not horrible”.

I don’t think gun stuff will really help.

It might, but I dunno.

It’s like hardcore drugs, if you want it bad enough, you can find it.

In my mind, if these shooters knew how great drugs were, they’d never even think about killing children!

Ain’t no way.

And of the times,,when a person would need a cigarette,,,, after slaughtering a bunch of strangers..

How great was that cigarette??

Holy shit..

*editors note.*

The person typing decided to take a turn there because it was funny in his head.

The person typing in no way endorses or condones violence in any form.

*thank you*

So… the cigarette after killing a bunch of kids, wow!

Even better than the cigarette after making sweet love to a bunch of dead kids..wow

God isn’t real!!

You’ve been lied to!!

And you carry these little circles of failure, and they’re allll tied together.

Smoke em if ya got em.

(Maybe a version of God is real, we have no way of knowing)

Fair enough…

We have no way of knowing.

Cigarettes are dumb though, regardless.

(Here here)