I want to change everything.
Be a man of honor,in spite of all the dishonorable fucking things you’ve done.
There’s an idea,eh?
The fuck is honor?
How do you see through those eyes?
(It’s doing the right thing, numb nuts)
It’s detachment, in this one scenario, it is detachment. I needed it. Needed someone to care, was thirsty for it.
SO I drank.
ANd there’s nothing more to it.
It’s done.
(Done)
Honorable.
(Good job)
Yeah man.
If you ejaculate inside of someone you don’t like,,
That would be a “dishonorable discharge”
(Good job)
Yeah man,
I have the world and all the magic in it.
This is just right now.
Days of your lives type bullshit,
Just shit,
(It’s fine)
It is.
No harm no foul.
It’s not like I got a bunch of people’s attention and then talked a whole bunch of shit about Israel
(Heh)
I know right 🤣
Alright..made it this far.. puny little things like feelings can’t stop me.
It’s fine.
(Can a person have honor, without having discipline?)
Solid question.
You can roll over and die and still be honorable about it.
(Nah,,you’d be disrespecting yourself)
Look man,,,look,,
Everyone wants to feel like they have value.
It is an addictive emotion.
You want to feel like anybody gives a shit, natural as the rain.
Totally normal.
(So what then?)
You manage yourself.
That’s what.
That’s how you stay out of the gutter.
That’s how you keep this motherfucker from running you over, keep yourself from being crushed beneath the wheels.
Self.
Management.
(Self,,goddamn motherfucking management)
You got it.
There it is.
(Presto)
Bingo, Yahtzee, eureka, motherfucking domino.
Jackpot.
It’s fine.
Cold, cool, calculated.
Even,, even keel Steven’s meal.
(Balanced)
Yes.
Operating with purpose and intent.
Putting effort where it is needed.
(Playing where you can)
For no one….
(For me)
Awe…
I will.
I’ll play for you.
(I hope you do)
Hehe.
Most good stories wrap up in a season or two.
(Fuck that, type your heart out. Who cares?)
I feel weird,, feeling some type of way..
(Don’t fall into that)
Yeah..
You right.
(Bigger things to worry about..)
Yeah.
(It’s alright)
It is.
(The world would like for you to kill yourself)
Yeah, but they don’t fuckin get what they want either.
So.
Fuck em.
(Fuck em)
But love em.
(From a distance)
Alright..
Love em.
(Forgive em)
So difficult, fuck me in the face with a razor blade spatula,,so goddamn difficult.
(Forgive yourself while you’re at it)
And for my next trick, I’ll walk on water.
(Just sayin)
Saying nothing!
Saying a whole bunch of crazy shit.
Forgive them,,psshhh
Have you no honor, no concept of rrrrevenge????
(A waste)
Grrrrrr..
Fuckin waste…
(You know I’m right)
I think I’m done with you for today.
Forgive.
The balls… the fuckin balls on you..
Forgive..Ha!
I won’t give her anymore of myself.
She checks my blog 50-75 times a day,, to see if I typed anything,, to see what’s in my mind
(That’s a bit much)
She found it on her on, I didn’t invite her,
She found it.
She dug in.
She got inside the walls,,
(Tsk tsk,,getting sloppy)
On one hand,,,but maybe it’s better to not conceal.
(She’s as addicted as you are)
Those that love to love.
Those that love “too much”
Put a straw in the bag and snort the whole thing.
All at once.
Gimme gimme gimme gimme
More MORE MORE!!!!
(You’ve seen this episode before)
I have.
Le’ Sigh.
Sigh side.
Sigh sigh sigh…
(Calm. Collected)
It’s not like I’m running for president, I don’t have to be made of lies. I can be made of the truth.
(You can)
I can…
And I can be peaceful about it.
Keep it lite.
(Deez nuts jokes)
Exactly!
Exactly…
Just another chapter,,,just one more,,,,
It’s fine… I’m fine.
(You’re fine)
Super fine.
Everything’s great.
Dandy.
Focus on what matters.-
(Get some meds)
Give up guitar.
(Get healthy)
Give up journaling and talking to myself..
(Maybe)
Pshhhhhhhh
It’s fine.
dawn 