dawn

The guy in the next cubicle is from the Dominican Republic, grew up in the Bronx.

He likes saying nigga and he’s super dark skinned,, but he’s Hispanic .

Loves talking about how he’s discriminated against.

Says he went to a job site for a meeting and the GC thought he was an intruder.

“they kept asking me who I worked for and what I was doing. Just like I’m some street nigga”

Hey man… I think you’re trying to identify. Because we’re in construction and you don’t like to think of yourself as a Hispanic.

Also,it’s the Job site GC’s job to know who’s coming and going. For safety and lawsuits and stuff. They used to treat me the same way.

Not because you are a skin tone other than white.

Why not be proud of it?

He’s dark skinned, and only likes offensive rap,, but I dunno…

If I was a black dude I’d check him on his n word usage.

During slavery, were there slaves from the Dominican Republic?

I don’t know the answer to that.

Probably yes, because America’s history is so shameful…

Still.

You use this word because you know it makes the white people around you uncomfortable, And it makes you feel like you’re part of a group.

I’m sorry you feel that way.

But also..

Sitting in the next cubicle, I was hearing him repeatedly snort.

Not like allergies.

Not like he has a cold.

Then when he would take a phone call, I would hear his forced speech, sped up.

You sir,, are snorting Adderall.

I know that sound.

I promise it’s not my imagination.

So I’ve got a guy from the Dominican Republic, a guy that speaks flawless Spanish, a guy that grew up in New York City, a guy that thinks everyone in the south labels him as a…

I don’t know, a criminal?

Pick your worst racial stereotype.

And then you put  amphetamine into this guy’s brain?.

What an interesting little universe happening next to my cubicle.

Add drugs to any scenario, and people get complicated .

He’s also incredibly two-faced. A yes man,an ass kisser.

He has Dustin thinking that they’re friends, dodging his phone calls when he’s off work ..

And he identifies as a gangster rapper.

The faces we wear…

My favorite Billy Joel song, The stranger.

Who the fuck are you man?

I know you’re a father.

I know you wear the role of a businessman.

I know you’re good at putting sentences together and sending emails.

I know you’re snorting something.

I know you’re fucking around on your baby momma.

I know you will say anything to someone’s face ,but change your tune the second they turn around.

I know there’s a lot about you I don’t like.

I also know it doesn’t matter, and your world has nothing to do with my world.

We have no business together.

So what I think doesn’t matter.

I will stay professional, because that’s my money.

I will not fuck with you.

But I also think you’re a joke .

I think you have no principle or backbone.

But I’ll be professional.

Nigga.

(didn’t land)

Yeah that didn’t work at the end, I was trying to point out how awkward it is to hear a dark skinned Hispanic toss it around.

Very different from writing naughty words in your diary.

It would be very different if I was dropping them at work.

They’re just words to me, But they are part of a lot of people’s vocabulary…

Again..

I think he’s just trying to identify with a group of people He wants to be.

Sometimes I use big words because I wanted to be a scientist, or a doctor, psychologist.

Don’t make that shit right though 🤣.

Any thoughts on this?

I’m not one of those people that thinks the word shouldn’t exist, I think it fits into music beautifully, and I think it fits into language beautifully.

Just not the language coming out of my white face.

So maybe it’s a skin tone thing,, Maybe you get a pass if you have the right complexion.

How the fuck would I know?

Why does it bother me?

I’m really uncertain if he’s snorting Adderall or cocaine, I know for a fact he’s snorting something.

I know that snort.

Not proud of it, But I know it.

Curious 🤨

Why are people the way they are?

Why do they do the things they do?

I dunno.

Not my business.

It’s not like I’m on a podcast, talking about how much of a piece of shit I think this guy is.

I’m bitching to my blog.

Moron.

Whatever.

Whatever.

It’s your world, I’m just taking poops in it 👍

(and doing fauxpium)