Caught myself scrolling social media.
A telltale sign that something is wrong..
It was just Reddit , mostly guitar rigs and cats, but still…
You must not venture out into the swamp of man. There’s nothing for you in there.
So I just went to sleep.
Maybe an hour.
I’m sure I’ll regret it later.
Miss the lunch dose, at work, the after work one was good too, but the lunch one,,, it makes the noise bearable.
Just people’s yappin.
Easier to tune it out if your brain is tuned out..
And the universe is asking me
“Hey Justin, How do YOU think God feels about gay people?”
The answer is simple.
Which God?
You listen to 10 Southern preachers, you get 10 different versions of God.
My personal God?
He’s scrappy.
Digs the underdog.
If you get called names and beaten and bruised? Then you’re tougher than these bitch ass Christians anyhow.
I assume there’s a seat for you at the table,, if there is in fact, any table at all.
My imaginary God also hates being dragged into your political shit.
You’ve been doing it forever and it was never once right.
God did not want XYZ to be president.
You’ve been saying that forever.
It’s old.
Hackey.
I’d stay away from the argument altogether.
Also, don’t tie me to your fuckin war.
Hate it when you do that.
Fuckin clowns.
Ahh,, the thoughts….
You’re not listening to “a believer”.
You’re listening to a struggler.
I don’t know what’s what.
I know i fucking hate you, for talking like you know….for like..my entire life.
I know you draw divide.
I know you sew “othering”.
Sure,,,know that much,
I know I know I know…
That I’m cranky.
But,, I felt the wind in my face today and it was lovely out. And my eyes were clear and I was present with the moment.
And I plucked it out of the air, and I put it in my mind pocket.
Now I can reach in and return to it.
Cool breeze with no distractions.
Neat little trick.
Noticing stuff.
Some Buddhist shit.
In complete reality,,,I think they have superior angles on the Christians.
Prayer is cool, chat with a pal,,
But meditation???
Meditation is weightlifting for your fucking mind.
It’s actually practical.
Turning all this off, if only for a few moments..
You’re not waiting on a possibly imaginary character to answer you.
Which might actually be the answer.
Religion is too weird.
And my perspective is highly skewed from backstory, soooooo,,,,,I’m the wrong one to ask.
I do like a real Christian, or better yet, I like noticing “God’s love” in people, which sounds crazy. But you can see it. Particularly in my few encounters with Arabic folk.
And a few Christians, but they’re super rare…
The rest of them can go to hell.
Because look in the mirror.
That’s why.
People,,,in my experience,,are not nice.
And groups are even worse, to a predictable level, people glob on and roll together, in a big fat fucking ball of ignorance.
Which is fine,,
But they talk like they’re right.
They want to tell you why you’re wrong.
And my version of God fucking hates that shit. Spews it out of his mouth like the lukewarm.
Hates it.
You’re missing the point.
If there is a point…
Fuck it.
Take it out on the gays, or the liberal thinkers. Why not?
Group needs an enemy.
That’s group game 101…
Always need an enemy….
So you can feel like you’re right.
Pat myself on the back for a realization jotted the other day.
“Irritation is a game. A silly game, still a game”
Oh yeah and people die.
And you have to be fake.
I forgot….
And with that I shalt retire for the day,,
Pissy.
I would classify my being on this day assssssss
“Pissy”
But that’s alright, it will pass..
(things uh…things get pretty squirrely for you when you get sober eh?)
Yeah no shit.
Good eye.
(I say roll with it. What adventures to be had)
Nobody cares what you say..
Music hasn’t come back, don’t even feel like playing.
(hang tight, be patient 😉)
(also, good job navigating today. You didn’t bite anyone. You proceeded through the hours intentionally)
You gonna blow me now?
(alright,take it easy Smart ass)
(hang out with your cat)
I will…thanks 👍
dawn 