dawn

I went to public high school after being home schooled through the 9th grade. Oh what a culture shock, what a social nightmare the beginning was.

I didn’t know.

The only socializing I had up until that point, family and church, also full time Ritalin, I was quite the little bug.

I spent a lot of time watching people, I got hung up on what “cool” was, how to emulate , how to pretend, fake it until you make it. Say cool things at cool moments, yada yada yada.

I learned two things.

1- It’s all bullshit.

No one really knew what cool was, it’s just a bunch of people pretending.

2- people are easy.

Horrible life lesson, and of course people aren’t so easy once they grow, but at that age, yeah, all tricks all day.

I still look around for that, “what is cool?”

Who knows?

Lulz.

I dial up the radio, just to check on NPR, A retrospective on the Diary of Anne Frank and the impact of writing down your thoughts.

Perfect.

Really looking for a spirit booster today, poor girl, the ultimate “you think you got it bad ” story…

Indeed. History is brutal. Brutal as fuck, always has been.

Tie your eyes and search out cool?

Or just glance around and seek out uncool.

Yes,,, that’s some pretty uncool shit.

Some quote about the Beatles, forget where I heard it,

Paul wanted to say “all you need is love”

Meanwhile John was hung up on “why do you hate?”

Fascinating.

I can’t think of a single YouTube influencer that makes me think of such deep topics. Not one podcaster, not one online personality does it so well, not one contributor, not a single soul plugged into to the Zeitgeist, not one celebrity.

Cool is flimsy.

Uncool is at least honest. Seems like a better place to start from.

People do a lot of bending to gain ears, seems natural to desire an audience, be as clever as you can, be perceived as “cool”.

I like games too much, the idea of ‘ gain ears, then alienate them one by one’,, pretty fucked up lol,

No more resembling bullshit that what most of the others are doing, pretttttttty funny. To me.

I hope the world has a great day,

I hope people on the edge of suicide look at the other side, I hope aggressors find mercy and families are safe and fed. I hope that strangers don’t hurt today and the people in the gutter get a glimpse of the light.

See that?

Did I mean those well wishes?

I did. I’m not a monster. Complicated, frustrated , confused,

But not a monster.

I don’t fuck with you, please don’t fuck with me.

Such a simple code to live by.

—

I bet there’s a way to spy on someone through their own WiFi, I bet if you observed someone and noticed traits of paranoia and distrust, I bet you could get at them with a little private information.

Or.

They notice your trick and they reject it, they reject it just as easily at they reject you. You have no power here, try harder good sir, respect the game, curse yourself if your hand flinches.

I want something new.

Whether I was alone or I was crying to the fucking universe, it would still be the same.

And I’ll get there.

I like thinking and you’ll never take that away from me. You can’t, it’s not even an option, so retreat, abandon.

Or try harder.

I do not care.

Unless someone could figure out how to poison a cat over the Internet,then I’d worry. Until then?

Don’t allow it.

—————-

ANd if someone figured out how to upset you with words?

They’re just words stupid, you let the gate down, that shit’s on you.Everybody got words out there. Dummy. There’s probably a lesson in here, and I ate your time. I compressed it into little coins and I put them in my mouth, like Mario , I just ran through munching on your precious time.

Don’t fuck around with strangers , stupid 🤣🤣

Alright, I’m done for the morning.

Sorry about everything lol