3:11 pm-
Mother Earth Magazine sounds like a fun read.
Bunch of crazies.
I could get on board.
Not because I love the planet (because I do),
But mostly because I hate these mother fuckers.
Oh I hope you lose.
Hope it swallows you alive.
But, like every other monkey, I can’t do anything about it.
Except “exit”.
ANd there’s handfuls of people that came to this conclusion, I’m not the first or the last.
That’s how much your day job sucks.
The crap you’re interested in.
People would rather build bunkers, raise gardens..
Whatever it takes.
Whatever it takes to get away from you.
I get it.
I totally get it.
3:15 electric spaghetti.
Could use a drink.
(could use a Xanax)
For sure.
Would trade ten whiskey gingers for a little oval.
Blah.
3:50 hippies are pretty irritating. Don’t really like them either.
4:01- why do possessions belong to the world? Worldly possessions .
And why are audiences so stupid?
4:16 I don’t really think white people are the problem, I just think they’re most of the problem
4:19 – forensic files. Someone home invades and murders for a gold elephant pendant.
Elderly couple,Gold Gone.
Suspect has someone else pawn the pendant,pawner snitches immediately.
Suspect sentenced to 45 years in prison.
Total pawn value of elephant pendant?
$20.
Twenty dollars.
4:23- helldivers.
Might level 40 during this round of detox
4:56- played with a character named “dildo”.
Got the vibe that he didn’t want to be friends.
I’m still right.
5:09- rednecks are the worst kind of white people, everybody knows that.
5:19 I have a safer option with these capsules,but you gotta eat like 10 of them. Apples and tomatoes in comparison to the extract. Really kind of a chore. Everything is a chore and everything sucks.
5:31 race cars are stupid.
People get really mad when you make fun of people having kids 🥱
6:18- mass shooting in Arkansas. Didn’t happen at my work, I’ll think about it later 🥱
7:24- took 4 capsules.
Capsules aren’t the devil, the extract is the devil. Because you can drop forty bucks and pound it.
You can be fucked up.
It’s available.
The capsules are just “something”.
Anything to not be clear headed, might eat a thc edible. Feeling le’ miserable.
Stomach pains aren’t as bad as the last time.
Fearful that it may be every week.
Every week I decide to quit, then around Wednesday I dose, then I feel guilty about it, then I do it all again on friday.
Bleh.
Miserable existence.
“Xylophone”
7:29- mother fucker gets real cranky. I don’t know what to do with that. It’s not a part of myself that I like.
7:55 I can’t believe more people in New York City don’t jump off buildings and try to land on people.
Pedestrians.
That’s mostly what I do in Grand theft Auto
8:28 everything I do, I have to do weird
9:33 had some really good guitar time, been working with these parallel mixers,, the best way to think of it is,, well I guess a mixer.
Instead of running everything in series, you are running in parallel.
Meaning, you can dose your signal with color every step of the way.
Instead of being set up like a train.
So you can have a little of this, a little of that. Everything legible to the ear, keeps it from being so much of a soup.
It’s uh, It’s really lovely.
I had some really nice time, out in space.
Turning knobs and tweaking doodads, Pretty cool, makes me happy..
I’m glad .
Everything isn’t so bad when you can escape into space
9:37 stomach pains but mild
9:45– you ever fuck around with a staring contest?
I’ve only played with a few people but, I always win .
That one. That weird game.
Got skills at that one.
10:11–maybe I have a son somewhere out there. One of those one night stands.
Maybe he’ll find me and kill me.
10:19-you guys fuckin suck
10:22 -I wonder what’s inside an eyeball. Is it meat? Or is it some milky goo?
Lot of questions…
12:01 am- Germany really did get fucked over after WW1. There’s a difference between saying that (which is the truth), and saying that any of it was “right”.
Of course it wasn’t.
The humanity.
Soooo
I didn’t learn the reason until i was about 35.
(Why would someone do this?)
Because they got fucked over so hard, the treaty of Versailles.
Now, from what I’ve read (no skinhead shit over here),, from what I’ve read, an enemy soldier never stepped foot on German soil. And yet, the government surrendered.
Make it feel like it was all part of a play.
(Game)
Yes..
And Germany was mega fucked, and people came around, trying to “fight the power”.
Turn it around.
And they did.
But it still didn’t answer any questions for me.
Why would any human do THAT to another human?
So I kept reading.
Apparently, and here’s where I get canceled, apparently it was perceived that there was an overrepresentation of a certain people in parliament ,government.
And paranoia had stoked the fear that this group of people sold out Germany in that treaty.
Which rat-fucked the economy.
Crippled an entire slice of humans.
Soooooo.
IN a situation like that,, a monkey is going to look for someone to blame.
Always.
Some more “group understanding”
If you lost, you’re going to look for someone to blame.
And that hatred will become magnified over time.
The narrative that someone else is to blame for all your problems,,,shit man,,,it’s like an opiate.
Fuckin drug.
That victimhood shit.
Makes you feel like,,like it wasn’t your fault.
Like all the suffering and struggle was sent from external forces.
Evil.
So…
You put a name and a face to it, and the bitter defeated will all turn their heads.
They’ll lock eyes on the bad guy,
And as history proves,,
They will do terrible things to other humans.
If they think they’re the good guys.
It’s super fucked up.
And I wish it wasn’t.
Do I think Germany was sold out by the Jewish people?
Not really, but I wasn’t there.
What I do know,, is that a group will lock the fuck on to a perceived enemy. And that action makes a group strong, more unified, more difficult to battle.
Saw it down here.
The Left really was the enemy.
They hate you.
Seems like it’s chilled out, but all those feelings are underneath,all those motivations and opinion.
They think you want to make their kids gay,,lol
And I might not agree with that, but I do agree that the other side is perceived as “soft”
Which is seen as weakness.
I personally disagree.
I think only a secure person has the freedom of true openness , for better or worse.
And openness might be the cure.
Maybe the cure for the Holocaust, but’s it’s far too late for that.
I don’t know.
“Live and let live” doesn’t seem to be very popular,N
to when things are so fucked up.
And so expensive,
And it’s so fucking hot.
And your work demands all of you, and you still never get anywhere.
But what do i know?
I wish the Holocaust wouldn’t have happened.
Shit gives me nightmares.
But I wasn’t even around.
(Cough cough,,,your bloodline was)
Meh,,Fathers side.
Mother’s side is much more prevalent in my veins.
(Coin toss)
Which do you think is more likely?
A new holocaust.
Or a new Civil War?
(Civil war, easy)
And who benefits from a Civil War?
(Who knows? Who benefits from ANY war?)
The defense department?
(It’s 12:30,,why are you thinking about war?)
Because it’s 12:30.
We’re all gonna die, don’t you know?
(Pshhh)
Alright…
We’re not gonna solve WW2 tonight.
(Least you tried lol)
3:09 am-
If you could strive for anything, you should strive to remain yourself.
Don’t let things change you
dawn 