What do you do after you realize that you have a personality disorder?
What’s next?
Sit quietly?
Don’t fuck with anyone?
So sad… don’t express anything..
That’s sad.
Eat a low dose of mushrooms after a tough day , sit and think about it…
You get this weird mood.
Like acceptance.
Doesn’t mean you’re OK with what you are…
Just means that you can at least see it.
I get tired of this.
Get tired of being this.
Feel those shroomies in your back, in the small beads of sweat, the ,,,the brain.
Chemicals in the brain.
There’s a rest.
There’s a break from the misery in your own head.
The messages stop repeating, for a moment,,emotions.,,,
The past,
What was…
It’s not here with us now, and you can feel guilt, it’s allowed.
You can be sorry for all of it.
But you shouldn’t hate yourself ..
Because it’ll never stop.
And it will drive you into madness..
That seems really sad.
Not a badass, not a tough guy or a clever one…
Just a regretful one.
I see it.
I see what and how.
Can forgive others, but not me.
I can’t.. I’m too fucked up..
It’s sad.
(Beeeeeep)
Alright!
So what’s next?
What now?
How do you change and become something else?
How do you repair?
Can you repair?
Dunno.
You waiting on death?
Just waiting for the time to pass?
I don’t know…
I feel weird.
dawn 