dawn

Feels like trying to walk across a river on submerged rocks, slippery, treacherous, but never fatal. You’ll fall sometimes.

I have no problem talking to people, it’s just a skill that needs exercising and hand flapping is no real outlet at all.

If you listen , you might catch yourself liking them.

One on one or small groups, totally manageable.

Sometimes i can see where people are coming from, and sometimes I get it. But these unfixable problems are constantly and aggressively shoved into our faces, as a group, and I see rational people make statements like ” I sleep with my pistol beside my bed”, or ” there’s a family in my neighborhood , wearing that head thing those Arabs wear, terrorist cells are fucking real!”

Fear cranked to 11. And it’s what they want to talk about, all they want to talk about.

They have children, they have skin in the game and I do not, but wouldn’t you aim for a bit of compassion? If your little spawn was inheriting the next chunk of time, if those choices ripple out to the next…

” or borders are wide open, and we’re far overdue for another grand terror attack”

Not even kidding. Rational people, witnessing violence in the holy land, taking the bait.

Feels like a book.

I’m trying to grow, trying to move past shit, trying to knock it off with the same old complaints.Trying to snap out of cycles. And it’s working, a lot of distance to go but I’m thinking, I’m trying.

My voice has no power, or an incredibly limited amount of power. But I have to stand my ground, I have to say what I feel and respectfully disagree.

I don’t want to be motivated by fear, on the national level.And I’m upset that we can’t choose where our money goes,taxes and shit. All I can offer is soft statements.

If our country truly went to war, the first fucking thing you’d want to do is grant citizenship to any Illegal Hispanic person that enlists.Because those people still have backbone.The group hasn’t neutered those mother fuckers yet. Posing and pretending to be cool hasn’t consumed all of them yet. And it’s pretty American.. “die for me,,die for me”

I’d put up Columbians against any foe our nation might face,domestic or abroad. Mexicans stick the fuck together and you don’t fight one, you fight all. And we pretty much call them niggers, we pretty much treat them like trash while they build our shit. I’ve been in it for years and years. If there’s a real fight, you want them, they fight for their families ,their people and homes… unstoppable.

Or at least a good fight.

And there I go, catasrophizing .

I wish we could love people. Wish it was like that. I wish you could trust, beyond the individual level. I wish it came naturally and it took no effort,,,

But we’re in this thing.

And I’m really sorry that it’s like that. I’m sorry your kids gotta deal with what’s next. I wish people were nice to each other.

Or maybe fuck it. Maybe the death grip is the thing that will get us off this rock, maybe the love of control is what propels.

It’s a bummer .

I’m making progress. Against my own metric, not yours. In my own way ,because I want to be better.

That fixes nothing globally.

Try to explain it to your kids the best you can, if they’re old enough. Just do your best when laying out this played out soap opera , don’t hit em with George Carlin, don’t point out the worst,,,or at least try. Tell the truth without leading to misanthropy , tough job, I actually respect a mother or father, if they show up for it.

Because it’s a shit show out here, if you believe the screens.

one on one ain’t so bad