dawn

I wonder if my penis is working today.

Sex drive has been gone, meds and fauxpium.

Yep.. pretty big loser over here.

I’ve just had other stuff on my mind,

Work is stressful, because people be people’ing..

This is new for me, This last year or so..

I’ve lived a uh…let’s say “frisky” life.

I wish I wasn’t like that, not like that version, but it feels like for the first time in my life, that part is quiet.

Humans are what they are, and I understand how much age plays into it

(lifestyle)

Yes , guilty.

I fully confess.

It makes you wonder 🤔

“is this just how things are now?”

(meds)

Yeah, taking meds..

Starting to wonder if they were a good idea 💡

Taking multiple pills a day..

Maybe it’s helped?

(you’re ruining the efficacy with your ridiculous Fauxpium intake)

I notice you capitalized Fauxpium…

(I’m not joking)

(you’re a fool for putting medicine into your body at the same time as getting fucked up everyday.

You’re a fool.

And all this shit you talk about people,YOU are the one that deserves it.

You are the fucking moron, The mouth-breather ,the knuckle draggers….

You like to think that you’re above the common Southerner, but you’re not…in fact… And a lot of ways you’re worse than them.

Your entire program is fucked.

And The only enjoyment, and outsider would get by observing you, is the satisfaction of knowing that time is killing you.

That your shit is falling apart everyday.. getting a little worse, getting a little more hopeless…

You are an abysmal creature.

And the only thing you’ve given to the world, is not spreading your seed… Which is merely luck, doesn’t matter how good your pull-out game is..

You SIR,

Are a fucked individual.

And no one should love you.

You don’t deserve that…)

You sound like…

(nobody gives a fuck!

What happened to you doesn’t matter . Where you came from doesn’t. What you learned and which lessons you skipped over.. the only experience here…is watching a beautiful stained glass window, shattering a moment at a time.

Sending tremors across the entire thing.

Watching it deteriorate..)

I could have been something….

(doesn’t matter.

You rewrote your program to operate this way…)

Survival.

(it doesn’t fucking matter)

I’m fucked?

(yes, In this moment while I’m calling you out, I’ll say “yes”)

And there’s no fixing it?

(none. There’s depreciating hope, there’s no guarantee that you have any fight left)

I just, wanted to relax,it’s Friday,I made it through the week.

(repeat that message to yourself, every single day. That’s your lifestyle. Selfish, lazy, worthless)

I have no value?

(none. Beyond that, you should pay people to be around you. That’s how much you suck)

Wow…

you’ve given me a lot to think about….

(go fuck yourself)

Hmm 🤔🤔🤔

You know I can think around. You know I’m as smart as you are..

(and that’s what makes you a bitch.

You could stop whining, continue life as is, take it on the chin… don’t whine about it….

And the next option,,,you know.)

I do 😔😔

(then fucking say it…)

Change.

Change seems so impossible, so far away, so difficult to grasp. It feels like I’m all alone here, and I’ve become far too comfortable with it.. change seems so overwhelming.

(it’s the only way)

(or you could kill yourself 😏)

I don’t have the balls,you know that.

And I can’t abandon Mom or Cricket…

(so there)

There…

Hey, do you think you could try to not be so fucking mean to me ?

(somebody needs too…)

Yeah..

(somebody needs to punch you in the fucking face,dude 😎)

I know..

I know I deserve that.

(you can’t escape habits. And you might be fucked… Take some time to think about the things I said…)

I know 😔

(I don’t hate you)

It feels like you do 😔..

Like everyone else.

(you need to hear these things, Because you know the difference between right and wrong…you know.)

I do..

I’m very wrong.

And I’m very tired of that identity.

(thank you)

No, thank you.

(shut the fuck up, dumbass)

I don’t want to hurt anyone..

(start with yourself, you’re dumber than a dildo dumpster)

I’m sorry …

(don’t tell me, tell the world)

I’m sorry.

(SCREAM IT AT THE PLANET 🌎)

I’m sorry 😐

(LOUDER!)

Do I need to list out my sins?

(NO! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO BED!)

alright….

( FUCK YOU “ALRIGHT” JUST STOP TALKING!!)

Hmmm…

Maybe I should…