dawn

Do you think people use religion to fight mental illness?

That’s for sure true.

Going back in time.

Modern human can use it for chemical dependence remedy and escaping shit childhoods.

Or to find peace in death.

(Or to deal death against enemies they’ll never meet..)

Fuckin pessimist..

If you clear your head, and you make it a handful of hours without junk in your veins..

What?

What the fuck is it?

What are we doing?

Why?

(Selfish reasons I’m sure)

I’m sure..

There’s no apologies.

I don’t feel bad for me, I feel bad for you. Well,, a little for me.

I stand by what it is.

I stand by the happiness and possibility you can find, stretching your fingers out over a keyboard.

Stand by it.

(Say what ya need to say)

I hate…being sober, so much.

I hate it with every fiber of my being.

It is an existence with no magic, no flow, nothing interesting.

It is a miserable, putrid little existence.

There’s something inside of me that can and will eat your face, scoreboard doesn’t fade from memory so quickly,,

But alas.

A bitch ass motherfucker is a comparison motherfucker.

I don’t want to do that.

A transactional motherfucker is the motherfucker that comes around when you got shit.

The psychopath motherfucker is the motherfucker constantly looking to extract whatever they can.

(A schizophrenic motherfucker keeps himself occupied)

I can lay all that down.

I can put all of it behind me.

I see reality.

Your shit is dumb as fuck too.

So nah nah boo boo.

I had so many eyes.

yes I did.

(Addictive)

Indeed.

Racial slurs and critique of Israel usually gets rid of em.

But here we are…

Let’s try some positive affirmations..

I’ll use the parenthesis man…

“Justin..I forgive you”

(You’re still a bitch)

Shut the fuck up.. I’m trying to be serious here…

“Look man,,you are a walking train wreck”

(That’s what you’ll die as)

Cough cough cough..

You’re not going to let me do this, are you?

(Psycobabble, tell yourself you’re a winner and you’ll be a winner?)

Nah man, I don’t need to be a winner.

Just want to get away from the dirt behind me, that’s natural, human.

I want to be done with it.

(You’ll never be done with it, it’s your blood)

I can do anything.

There is no thing that I cannot learn.

I can be good at anything I want.

(Ego)

No, I make the rules here, the door is right there,,

I can do anything.

(Including murder)

No, that’s not what I’m saying.

I’m saying you can put things behind you, and that’s a fine place to start.

(I hope the world gets cancer and thinks about me as they’re dying..)

Jesus dude..,

(Just kidding)

I know you’re angry.

It makes perfect sense.

You were about three days away from being done with humanity…

(And now it’s worse!)

No.

Only if they win.

Which would make you a bitch.

So fuck em.

Fuck you too.

Imma come back and say some real flowery shit.

I’m going to make myself read through these, pluck out the ones I liked doing.

It’ll be a bitch of a task, ughh,

It will.