dawn

I haven’t free-based cocaine in about,,let’s do some math,,,15 years.

I think.. who can remember all this trash?

That’s a five with a one in front of it.

Honestly I don’t think about it, doesn’t really cross my mind. And the highhhhh, oh lawdy.

Amphetamines are better, on a large dose with a few days to kill,,that one I DO think about.

So good, so good that it makes everything else pale.Such a sensation , being up, god damn,,you go back to the real world and the real world says ” you can have a drink and a cigarette “..

Shit man, not quite the same.

Not by a mile.

Slow death is acceptable out there, fast death is illegal.

I only drink to pacify, it’s the only thing the group says I can have.

Bored with it.

Amphetamines are better than cocaine, the high lasts longer and you kinda control the throttle, the frequency of dosage etc,, coke is just going down a slide, you’re always sad when the high starts to fade, but not amphetamines.

Them bitches last.

If you crush up and snort the orange ones, they had this sweetness to them, you’d catch the nasal drip and think to yourself

“Sugar?”

Did they really add sugar to these pills?

Probably a coincidence , just some chemical mix.

The first two days are incredible, the rush of thought and the control over it,,ohhh,, so good, makes ya feel so alive, king, god, serpentine , clever enough to weather the stuff , adorned in feather, rockin a bath robe..

“This shit don’t matter”

Just you and the zoot. The doom of the zoom.

I liked taking three 30’s, swallow two, crush one. Get the impact up front, meanwhile your gut is digesting the second wave.

Stop reading this, right now, this moment,

I want you to make a fist, squeeze hard with one hand…

Notice that?

Notice your brain commanding your body?

You told it what to do, and it listened .

Adderal plays with that wiring, that central nervous system…

Mmmmmm… good shit.

But also bad shit, the worst shit, the ruin your life shit, because because because,,,,,

No grip.

Happy Wednesday, let’s talk about drugs!

Can’t have them, so settle for some booze, that’s fine.

———–

Alright.

Alright alright alright.

Fuck drugs, does no good thinking about them.

And let’s all pretend that Matthew Perry didn’t have the most pleasant death a modern human could ask for.

I’ve read about Vlad the Impaler,, horrific torture of the human essence and form, nightmare shit.

Not once….

Not once do I recall him forcing his victims to comfortably nod off in a hot tub.

What a soft death.

Zero panic. Zero fear.

Just hot water and bubbles.

Far too early?

Sure, but still,,,, what a peach of a way to go. Some people have all the luck.

Lol.

ALright, that’s ridiculous , drugs are bad kids, don’t do em.

Day to day life is pretty bad too lol.

(Only what you make it to be- ambitions of a rider)

Cocaine ,weed and amphetamines, Pops said “P, keep your eyes on your enemies “- Master P.

There’s no enemies stupid.

Just you , and life and death and hot tubs.

Yay.

Sometimes I wake up with a real itch.

I do not scratch it, but for real,,,,,

Something to be said for it.

(You ain’t no Hunter S Thompson)

Facts…

I’m still allowed to express the feeling of life that that lifestyle brings, I lived it so I can talk about it.

(Waste)

Or truth, tough call,,,,mmmmmm, useless thinking.

(Useless)

Now I’m going to face yet another day, all those hours dripping by, left to right, time is raindrops on the cracked windshield of a Korean made vehicle , no performance , great gas mileage though.

I sure would like some amphetamines at the moment, this exact second, all up in my head.

But it’s illusion. All fake. Fake as you.

Sooooo, you shake it off.

I

…I still want to do drugs, because they’re awesome 😎

(yes man, super cool 🤣)

Alright,,,I’m done

—————

I didn’t type.

I don’t recall using my highs for that.

The crazy highs, the exotic experiences… I never reached for the keyboard.

(Yes you did)

Shit, I did,,,what did I type?

(It’s in that file,, two years of diary,Sitting in a word document ..you were quite high in there)

You’re right, shit…..

(What’s wrong?)

I don’t want to read any of that….

(Don’t blame ya. But Don’t act like you would have been good at some shit because of amphetamines )

Fair enough. Illusion .

———–

Hellraiser Judgment might be the dumbest movie I’ve ever seen, lot of potential though, some little gems of dialogue too,, and that’s what I like to watch at 5 am. Start the day off right.

This alter thing… the bad guy skins the victim alive, then there’s three topless women kneeling at the base of the alter.

Pipes poke out,some sort of mechanical contraption..

What happens next?

Blood.

Blood shoots out onto the ladies tits.

Just for the visual?

I dunno. Absurd and hilarious , definitely not meant to be…

Horror movie makers tend to disrespect the genre , pisses me off.

Does the word Judgment really have no E?

Judgement . Jud-ga-mint

Judgment.

Only jugs can judge me?

Words lol-

————–

This movie is a huge pile of shit.

Just like you!

Terrible acting/dialogue.

OFFENSIVE TO THE AUDIENCE.

Hard to look at, 33% on rotten tomatoes ,

Who the fuck greenlit this motion picture?

It’s so bad that it makes me want to be a better person, makes me want to care, to love any degree of listener, to try my best.

Piece of shit movie. Couple of original ideas in there, mostly dogshit, just like me!

Hellraiser Judgment, two thumbs down, time to check the news,hoping for better acting on the national stage. Talking to you clowns, really try this time, try to sell me on some shit, I want to see you put your heart into it.