dawn

When I start to feel like I might be cracking up, I like to remember what real cracking up is.

It’s not just wearing a frown..

Frowny face..boo hoo..

It is complete disconnection.

And every face that I see is experiencing a different reality than I…and it is meaningless..and there is no point and they are soooooo caught up in it..

Jesus Christ…

I can’t love it.

I can’t love it like they love it.

It’s not in me.

Not a “Cracking up”

Maybe just an Understanding.

And you can go a lot of places…you can journey in your own way..

You can accomplish…

(Defeating yourself)

You can.

If your will is great enough.

And if your fuck-you is greater than your will??

You might be in trouble.. you need fuck-you as a secondary attribute….

Need will first..

I feel completely scraped out, empty.

And I will wake up, and I will take my larger dose of Wellbutrin…then I will GO.

Give the company their money’s worth..

“Contribute”

Always thought that was a funny phrase…

I’m “contributing” to this fake ass party you cocksuckers built..

I’m adding.

Carrying my own weight,,justifying existence…

The opposite of Love.

Detached from caring and looking up to see the stars spin in a circle…time-lapse..

(Serotonin..)

Yea…the evening hour is far from the early dose.

(Your body wants more)

It always does.. nothing new..

(Wants more, and you have a bottle full)

I know the game, and we’ve done this before..

I am going to go to sleep,,

Slide this bitch into a Tuesday,, try not to complain and dump out your bitter shit,..

(Bitter)

Temptation had no hold over me.

(Bitter)

And I am blessed with sleep.

The true rest, a gift..

Let this be removed from my mind,

Let these spirits be gone.

Memories.

Predictions.

Calculations..

Let them all eat shit..

Let me get 6 or 7 hours,,alright?

(Alright)

Amen and suck my d*ck 🖕

(A goldfish will eat until it dies)

So will a dog,,

(Not a cat though)

No, not a cat…