dawn

The fuck can I say?

Sometimes you feel and there’s nowhere to put it.

No bright lights or easy outlet..

Just dark corners.

but hey, at least it’s somewhere.

Somewhere somewhere somewhere.

And the way it goes isssssss…

Pour something on it, pour something on it and you won’t feel, Smoke something, snort something, drink something, rub a woman on it..

I realize this is objectifying an entire gender, but try to understand, it’s just emotional stuff. I do not see you as more or less than myself. And sometimes I’d regret pulling other people into my orbit.

A natural thing, something people do, everybody wants to be liked. Deep down..probably..

(monsters..)

Monsters are different, different motivations altogether. A curious subject, but that’s all..

I was feeling amped up, so I poured something on it.

Rinse , repeat.

And uh,, I do feel guilt.

I do not see it as my better nature.

But,,, I feel more like myself, feel more comfortable in my own skin, and the entire world melts away and none of this matters.

THAT,,, is death.

On a timeline. A natural progression of events, nothing unique about it.

Which is a fuckin drag.

Once you’re high, you might just stare off into nothing,,,

mmmm,, I see.

(do you?)

I definitely do..

if I’ wondered how I ended up in this spot?

Kid.

Just kid stuff.,,

hmm, I’ll think about it some more.

It’s for me, it’s not for you.

(must be a reason)

All magic is gone. There’s nothing there.

And in being alone, you’re not alone at all. You are not the only one that feels this way and not the only one that goes through it.

It’s just, what you’re supposed to deal with.

The worst pain of all, is when there’s nothing to do with your mind.

nothing ridiculous, nothing destructive, nothing creative.

I play video games because it’s something to do with my brain, I don’t have to think, I only have to execute.

And you don’t have to be sad, or a loser with huge testicles, talking mad shit because it’s a skill.

I don’t have to compare myself to you.

It is not a requirement.

I don’t have to broadcast. I don’t have to think anything about anything,,

I still have a right to be alive.

And I got a bunch of people to read my thoughts, and I got irritated with that shadow fact…

doesn’t matter,, doesn’t matter a bit,

don’t hurt my feelings none.

Because the workforce been killin me for dozens of years.

Those walnut smashing dumb critters out there been wearing on me for years.

The people you’re supposed to trust fuck you the hardest.

And the only truth is in being high, and alone.

(that might be a lie)

A perspective.

Unhealthy,,,,

Yeah… but the honesty is the only part that matters.

I hope I made you feel bad.

Smile emoji.

(refrain)

rethink,refried beans,,

just stuff in the moment.

The world is scary enough.

These motherfuckers are out of control and you have no control,,

so,,,

Do what you can for the next generation, I guess. Chopping your penis off is bound to go out of fashion eventually. All these sicknesses that you see,, it’s a group thing,, only a symptom of group stuffs.

i don’t believe that an individual deals with the same pressures and trends.

And there’s definitely a pendulum.

Connected to time.

because it works on groups.

masses.

So back and forth we go.

I was high then, I’m high now,

all the same