dawn

I would like to stop being a junkie.

And there’s levels.

I’m aware.

As far as having a manageable habit and problem?

Could be worse.

Could be much worse.

I show up every day,clear eyed.

I handle my job.

Could be worse..

Could have a stronger demon on my back..

It’s not even that Kratom is so addictive,,

What’s addictive is being anything other than sober.

The terrifying task of looking at all this, looking at yourself..

That’s what’s scary.

The population is crazy and always has been.

The systems in place are merely there to steer.

But you…

Putting a pair of eyeballs on what you are and where you’ve been, the choices and the forks in the road…

That’s a motherfucker.

That’s what I’m afraid of.

And I don’t have to think about it if I’m high.

Don’t have to worry .

I can just play.

Play like a child.

Build, fingerpaint, kill the bad guys..

You can see the appeal,right ?

(shut your fucking mouth 👄)

I’m telling the truth…

(you’re rationalizing, like a true bullshitter)

😔

I’m just trying,,to express….

(express a lie… A lie so deep that you’ve convinced yourself it’s true)

Everyone should have a place…

(a place for lies….)

😥😕😔