I mean it when I say
“Cat videos are better than the news”.
The statement itself is pretty insulting, and audacious.
What would be more accurate to say?
“Cat videos are better for ME than the news”
Then they got ya right where they want ya…
Think about it though…
I can sit , I can take in someone’s argument and angle, I can let it fester for a few months, then I can cast a vote.
That person was full of shit, the one I listened to…
Whichever one I let in and whichever one won me over with argument .
(One won)
Really though….
I can watch all the horrible things in the world, just like they love to serve up, I can give into fear on a global scale, or I can feel self righteous.
Because I have the knowledge and I’m on the right side of history?
I must be a good person, just look how much I care about X.Y.Z.
Wait … there’s a score in there?
I’m being judged by which stories I pay attention to?
I’m being sized up?
I am only worth how much I care about topics???
Yo…
I get down with suicide jokes.
I like jokes where humanity is the punchline and you can’t decide if it’s blasphemous.
I like confusion .
I laugh at people,
Laugh at me too.
Not the right audience.. unless I can laugh at it .
School shootings?
Tricky, but you can do it.
Inflation?
You grind your entire life to make it out of lower class, then the goal post shifts and you’re right back where you started.
Pretty funny. Pretty stinkin’ funny.
Healthcare?
How about the way our taxes get spent?
The image of a nation pissed off, holding torches and pitchforks…
Don’t worry, I’m nuts, that probably won’t happen. WE’RE ALL ALRIGHT.
Or….
Or or or or or….
I could watch these lovely animals instead.
I could go into my next interaction with another human without selling them on some bullshit opinion I absorbed from some dildo on a screen.
Some other bullshit mother fucker, out here selling their snake oil and wasting my goddamn motherfucking time..
I could group up.
Clot together with other dumb fucks like me and set off to fight an infection.
Stand around the water cooler, slant the other side,
Fit in.
Be one of whichever group I prefer.
Sometimes I’ll play devils advocate just for the fuck of it.
If the listener likes one side, I’ll subtly lean towards the other, in arguments.
Just for fun.
Just because it’s stupid.
Because you’re stupid, because you wasted your time by letting them get your eyeballs and fucking own you…
Cat videos though???
You walk away feeling much better, like you didn’t create any new enemies.
If you had a glass toilet, you could watch your poops circle around before they plunged into nothing…
A glass toilet, completely clear…
A bathroom with Ipads for walls,, every square inch another screen, tighter than pyramid stone,
And on every screen ,a video of a cat taking a shit. Different cats, all colors,
Orange, tabby, calico, tortie, tuxedo,
Bunch of cats taking shits….
It’s actually a good thing that some characters don’t get money .
The motivation doesn’t work, if that’s what I long to do.
Glass toilet, iPad walls, cat videos..
Or I could just watch the news, gander at what you fucks are telling me is important.
I’m sure it is..
But you’re not.
There’s a hierarchical system in place for your attention ,,,, so I adopted one too….
You gotta make me feel better than a cat video if you want me to listen to you,
You have 30 seconds…annnnnd GO!
Cat videos are better, I stand by it.
dawn 